Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Intimacy

Submitted by Frenchf on Thu, 2013-01-03 03:30

intimacy
strangers naked in a room
Straddling, eyes glazed,Weight pressed
Entering your body space, Exploring crevices and nooks
Exploding in your head or your horizon

intimacy
Twenty something German woman
talking about threesomes
To a total stranger
And suggesting ........what was she suggesting ?

intimacy
A glance in passing, a feel, a smell
A thought, a caress,
Words not spoken ,
Wonderful warm wetness when he has gone

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Could I have expanded it?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

sueb

Thu, 2013-01-03 09:30

sueb's picture

interesting poem did u ?

Frenchf

Thu, 2013-01-03 10:07

But I have her mobile and the mobile of the guy who invited me to an orgy.
Rationality is prevailing at the moment xxx

author comment

sueb

Thu, 2013-01-03 10:12

sueb's picture

what an exciting life u lead keep that number for me I might need it lol x

Esker

Thu, 2013-01-03 14:00

Esker's picture

long ago I met a friend I made
who was at a hospice in a city
I dwelt in
He worked for laywers in the city
got the virus and came north
and would stand in the little
convenience store arguing with
the owner..... I ended up and my
then ex made him our friend
We were both smart and he also
and I would banter with him mentally
One year they were breaking down
the carnival..the neon
the workers and the park forest all
lit up at night quiet and surreal
He probably was cruising and came
and met up with us standing and
we watched them work for a spell
..

Your poetry is unique..most never write
of their life..or style of life
Neo is for adults mostly

I like your openess
and poetic view
of something that
most would not
look upon

Thank You

Frenchf

Thu, 2013-01-03 16:06

I am warm towards people and impulsive. Gets me into a lot of trouble. I loved lawyer helper.thank you for your comments. My good wishes for what little I know about you French f

author comment

loved

Fri, 2013-01-04 03:03

loved's picture

you will turn i see
men and women
to warmth
even when freezing cold

I am equally sexually oriented
but many want me to unfold
but 'tis beyond me
as I'm a poetically
sensitive ,lonely soul...

loved

Frenchf

Fri, 2013-01-04 08:14

When one is bold tragedy may emerge
Sexuality is personal
Be comfortable with how you act

Haiku poems date from 9th century Japan to the present day. Haiku is more than a type of poem; it is a way of looking at the physical world and seeing something deeper, like the very nature of existence.

author comment

loved

Fri, 2013-01-04 09:42

loved's picture

7 5 7
i was told
and
it dealt more with nature
is it so ???

''so be bold if you will
all will honey till
never mind the grind they give'

does this qualify as a haiku
I wonder

loved

Frenchf

Fri, 2013-01-04 13:21

Whatever it is a good example xxx

author comment

Jenifer James

Fri, 2013-01-04 15:26

Volunteer badge

Totally agree Frenchf. Forums from this allow you to to be comfortable. Well, make me comfortable, anyway.

Jenifer Jaspa James

weirdelf

Fri, 2013-01-04 02:48

weirdelf's picture
Volunteer badge

Without being formal you use poetic sound wonderfully.

Sexual intimacy in groups? That is a minefield I explored through the '70s and '80s and with extremely diverse results ranging from life-long bonding to everyone getting a dose and being kinda miffed.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Jenifer James

Fri, 2013-01-04 05:13

Volunteer badge

Good to see that sex in poems gets the most responses...odd that! Anyway I have always believed that poetry IS the place to explore our lives, to shock or move people. I like this - it's not crude, just captures that moment. And has an erotic edge, of course!

Jenifer Jaspa James

Frenchf

Fri, 2013-01-04 08:18

And the others except Nigella which isn't a related theme
French

author comment

Jenifer James

Fri, 2013-01-04 16:36

Volunteer badge

whoohoo!

Jenifer Jaspa James

Frenchf

Fri, 2013-01-04 17:36

There is instant connection and frankness. I appreciate everything you said. The strange thing is that I came to it through looking up Internet lothario trying to find out whether a man I was with was a known lothario- Sue b 's poem I think? And homed in on it and it is a fantastic place to be.
The critique especially is very nice because you have so many reviewers giving honest opinions
Thank you
French

author comment

vinnie16

Sun, 2013-01-20 10:25

vinnie16's picture

BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN VERRRY SUSPENSEFUL.

vinnie16

Sun, 2013-01-20 10:25

vinnie16's picture

BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN VERRRY SUSPENSEFUL.

Frenchf

Mon, 2013-01-21 13:16

In life sometimes its quite nice to tell the truth

author comment

weirdelf

Mon, 2013-01-21 00:54

weirdelf's picture
Volunteer badge

but the Revisions tab is not showing, hmmm

I like to click on Revisions (it appears above the title) to compare various drafts of poems.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Frenchf

Mon, 2013-01-21 13:16

At using any website properly so will try next time

author comment

weirdelf

Mon, 2013-01-21 13:36

weirdelf's picture
Volunteer badge

then it is a site problem I need to report, not your fault. Have you done edits?

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Frenchf

Tue, 2013-01-22 13:12

Can you wait till next week as I am soo busy. I'll do the editing next Monday and then if it hasnt come out properly it probably is my sight problem rather than yours. I'll pm you the ones Ive edited and thanks xxx

author comment

Frenchf

Sat, 2013-01-26 15:12

Am going through all the others making changes so if they don't appear it is me or a site problem. Thanks for sorting it out

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.