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Flipping Papers

Submitted by Shamoneness on Wed, 2013-01-16 01:15

When they flipped those papers
I just broke down
It was all going away, all the pain of yesterday
I laughed hysterically at my own lies
As I felt myself come undone from their ties

Blinding darkness dimmed against the light
Freedom! I’ve come back again
Smiling is no longer fake
Living no longer a chore
All those silly days and all their silly ways
Is a distant memory now
Like something my brain won’t allow

That past, I will never go back
This light is too bright for it to fade to black
Dark days must come for us to know happiness
To remind us of the joy we missed

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words: 
An older one. Not a favorite of mine, would like to know how it can be improved.
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Frenchf

Wed, 2013-01-16 12:57

Beautifully expressed

Shamoneness

Wed, 2013-01-16 14:45

Shamoneness's picture

you very much!

author comment

Ian.T

Wed, 2013-01-16 14:07

Ian.T's picture
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There is hardly anything to be done to make this any better the line I have touched was "That’s past, I will never go back" just changed it to That's as a first word, and split the whole thing into three pieces.
I have read into this, that the papers are for a decree absolute, and the freedom from something not good, but I could have read it wrong.
If I am right and it's for you then go out and walk in the new world though take care there are many that are in this dark place..
Yours Ian.T

When they flipped those papers
I just broke down
It was all going away, all the pain of yesterday
I laughed hysterically at my own lies
As I felt myself come undone from their ties

Blinding darkness dimmed against the light
Freedom! I’ve come back again
Smiling is no longer fake
Living no longer a chore
All those silly days and all their silly ways
Is a distant memory now

Like something my brain won’t allow
That’s past, I will never go back
This light is too bright for it to fade to black
Dark days must come for us to know happiness
To remind us of the joy we missed

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Shamoneness

Wed, 2013-01-16 14:45

Shamoneness's picture

you so much!
"Flipping papers" is actually in reference to a youtube video I watched, haha. It's strange the things that can have the biggest impact on you.

Amber

author comment

Ian.T

Wed, 2013-01-16 16:37

Ian.T's picture
Volunteer badge

Thought you were over a bad marriage LOL and had a bit of space..
Take care out there, Yours Ian.T
PS:- Read it as if it were those papers coming through and you will see what I mean Ha Ha .....

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

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