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Caught

Having discovered you,
beside him,
no,not even a her,
frozen,
arms entwined,
caught as only lovers can be caught
The air whispering intimacy,
horror
the experience of
the one who caught you

You did not deny it.
You just said "you wouldn't mind would you?"
Unknowing of the pain caused by your ignorance
Hoping you could lead life
doubling up me with him,
or was it him with me?

Which came first?
or did neither?

Was it the thrust of swollen flesh that mattered?
flesh against flesh.
whose flesh?
new flesh,old flesh,
soft flesh, warm flesh,
a sudden sharp intake of nectar
drunk from the finest cup,
that cup you had not known before,
a new cup, always a new cup,
And sometimes and old cup
but that cup was not me but him

he too was betrayed
by the many others.
You taught him to lie,
to be like yourself
To have more, anywhere,
parks , toilets, pubs, Compton street,
alleyways, motorways, cafe's
To act as if he was one thing,
when he was not that,
as you were not that,
as you never were that

And when I said
you should not,
no, not again,
you refused,
with no explanation,
wanting to keep your pot of honey
into which you kept dipping your hand, head, fusion.

"I cannot "you said
handing me Pablo Neruda's love poems.
"I love you but I cannot change.
i will not change.
It is a force too great within me"

Oft I wonder.
does he think it was worth it?
Could he have changed?
Change.
easy for one on the sideline,
Difficult for the player of the game.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
Last few words: 
Truth is stranger than fiction
Editing stage: 

Comments

Hi interesting and sad poem this got to me hope your ok a lot of emotions here much enjoyed the read cheers sueb x

The life we lead and what we have to put up withxxxx French f

author comment

Now I understand your strong comments re men having read it again I'm never sure myself on what's poetry or prose sorry sueb x

Sorry but your comment on my poem was a little confusing and here i have found the answer

poetry or prose ? I would err on the side of prose if you want it to be poetry I would shorten the lines and be rather severe on the edit there are words there that dont need to be there to tell the story and its such a sad story unfortunately its a story a few of us have lived in my case my ex husband and his many indiscretions, I am sorry you had to go through this its seems like its still a fresh wound, so that is all I will say on the subject

kind regards JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

I think men are there to sow seed so how does one explain gay men. greediness? or?
I have given up trying to understand
Now I am only trying to forgive

author comment

emotion...neither poetry nor prose... sorry though my regrets
for blunders I may have committed

I read it in papers; it’s all over the world
in Western culture it may be acceptable
owing to not many family ties
maybe genes admixture

only sex is a cause of human male vulture
but the East is also transforming…
I wonder whatll come of the world one day
some day….
if all men turn this damning way

but alas, I and you are two insignificant souls
to change the whole wild world...

yes change ourselves we may
as we age
bless you child for the experiences so wild
but you seem to have come a long way,

brave,
as brave as you are may
so continue to stay..
now you may have your say...

loved

eph I'll edit. Ta
Thanks loved for what you said. Happier now
xxx

author comment

glad for you
as you follow
men in sharks’ garbs
testosterone engineered
some can’t see beyond anything round ...
so cope you must
with guys as such
and
then you’ll see
you'd never be left
in the lurch
men are as such...
all voyeuring around
for a free gold mine
take it or leave it,
one they are bound to find
as their stick vibrates in the open
God bless such juveniles one...

loved

A sorrowful story, and the pain overflows even to us here as we read.
What can I say other than find your inner strength and believe in yourself you are better than the things that happen to you, Yours Ian.T
PS:- It matters not if poetry or prose, it has been told and that is all that matters, take care young one..

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

HI Frenchf,

Think Eph has done a great job, taking your narrative and shaping into freeform, also agree with JC about pruning the lexis, making it more impactful. It was thought-provoking, and that's what writing should be about. A brave write.

Ells :)

Yes eph restructured beautifully. I've never written free form hence why the lines were too long and it became prose. Now ephs made it poetry. Xxxx

author comment
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