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Cathedral of The Pines...

In the “Cathedral of the Pines”
dark gives way to light
The smell of breezes fresh
fan away the night

As the light is changing shades
life begins to wake
Movement, little twitches
from the shadow snakes

Murmurs of good morning
the voices of the wood
Trickles of the stream
whisper; things are good

Life giving “Sol” has risen
touching all in turn
The father of creation
master of slow burn

Foggy clouds of smoke
crowding, slowly rise away
Burn off from the mountain
as the nighttime turns to day

The colors of the rainbow
inticed from moistured air
Lands far off on the mountains
to backlight “Mother’s chair

My eyes and brain do treasure
these memories I’ve built
They lie beside the others
‘neath a covering of silt

One by one I’ll take them out
when I am grey and old
Look them over, put them back
when I’m tired, when I’m cold

I’ll mix them up and forget
where each one needs to go
but I’ll never sell them short
They’ll be priceless down the road

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Thank you, this piece was inspired by a fare that I was taking to work the other morning. He goes to work every day at six and we were coming over a hill, when the sun was just peeking over the horizon. The tops of some big pine trees were lit up from behind with a beautiful red glow. He said to me that it looked like they were on fire. It's about a twenty minute drive to his job and we got to see the sun burn away the fog, making it look like the steam was smoke from the blaze of the sun. I too, have spent a few mornings in the forest amongst the pines. When my boys were just children we used to go hiking on some weekends. My best friend and their "Uncle Lew" would get up in the dark of early morning and go to our favorite hiking trail and spend the morning hiking along the pine tree trail. It is something that my boys have mentioned to me now and again, even thought they are grown men now. "Remember how we used to hiking dad?" " Remember the way the sun made the mountains seem like they were on fire?" Those memories are something that I wouldn't trade for all the world. Thanks for the read and comment, ~ Gee

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author comment

I sing it at work while working making forms to help others..
the radio tuned down..the window full of life and light before me

It was about a love and a night spent in the pines
all spiritual based and longing......passion and shadowed
hearts..the pain and ache driven deep by want of that
lonliness and great desire to just have the basics
in worlds separated by social turmoil and class structure..

and Love..

The pines have always been the ignition for all
their spiritual power undeniable How they root in
the soil that other trees disregard
Some of my greatest momens have been spent in
their company or beneath the Towering white pines
that throw their crowns above the soft mantle of
the hardwoods full of thick rustling canopy in the summer
breezes night and day Or their empty limbs and
sculpted trunks brooding in the chill frozen air of a
brilliant moonrise at dusk..That Violet colour as
the slash of a sun leaves and the stars immerse
thoughts of imagination

This poetry you write here shows me your range
your depth of a writer
One of the few talents that I continue to read and be
amazed by

And one of the great creative poets that I call a friend
here..

Thank You on this snowing and rain fallen afternoon
these words soak into my soul!

To be called great by one of the poets that I most admire here, gives me hope that my work will not be forgotten and in turn, I will be remembered. All the depth and range that I have, is gained from the experiences I have had throughout my sixty some years. My mother instilled in me the the love of the Earth and the creatures on it at a very early age. She would take me out in the yard when I was barely able to walk and show me the animals like chipmunks and sparrows. She says that I enjoyed all the different kinds of weather and wanted to stay out even in the rain. I only have pieces of those memories now, but I still think about the yard in front of the cobblestone house and the long grass along side of the fence, where the field-mice could be found. We had a little brook that was only inches deep during the summer, but it had lots of life in and around it. I always wanted to go there because I could see little fishes and frogs and the grasshoppers. When I had children, I wanted to give them the love of nature and the little things that many of today's children don't get to see or learn about. My youngest son, who is a man now still speaks of the early days when we went hiking in the woods. Thank you for your thank yous, I am glad that I could bring those memories back to you. ~ Your friend, Gee

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author comment

my only suggestion is that the inverted commas on “Cathedral of the Pines” might not be necessary, or is there a literary reference I missed?

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

the feeling that there is a poem or story by that name, but that wasn't the reason for using the inverted commas,
I just misused them, as I often do. Glad that I touched you Jess, Made my day! Thanks,~ Gee

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This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

I went and looked at the site. Interesting, to say the least!
I also went and looked at the other site you have there. You are right, it is scary!
You just don't know anymore; what to believe about anything!
~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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author comment

I have to say first off this is a gorgeous poem made me smile, I sighed when I had finished reading it its just beautiful sentiment ahhhh I needed that

why does Cathedral of the Pines ring bells for me ? mmm its playing on my mind if I work it out I will let you know :) I am going to look it up

anyway its a beautiful poem thats going into my favourites

love and higgliest bugs JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

to Jess, I'm not sure if there is a book, poem, song or movie; something with that title. It does sound so familiar, doesn't it? Anyways, i'm glad that you liked this one. I reflects a part of me that yearns to be in the the country.
Not necessarily way out, but in a rural area at least. I do however, get the chance during the summer months to go fishing. I miss having a dog, and the excuse to on walks along the bike and hike trail. We have one here that goes along the river and the railway for many miles. I think I will take your lead and look up the title. Cathedral of The Pines. Maybe I'm infringing! lol Love and higgest bugs, ~ Gee

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author comment

I looked up cathedral of the pines its a spiritual community in N.H there is also an outdoor church here in oz with the same name :)

Love n Higgliest bugs Jc xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

found that site. I must have heard the name somewhere. I like it however, and unless my poem is published, I will leave it as is. Thanks, J.C. love and higgest bugs, ~ Gee

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