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Dogs know everything
before the wave broke causing death and destruction
the dogs fled inward from the coastal stations
knowing the worst was yet to come,
desperate to save themselves, saw some
men unlike the animals gazing out to sea
Wondering at the sudden tranquility.
The beach had suddenly become vast
waters receded, fish breathing their last
Man not realising till the wave churned
All were engulfed, some never returned
The dogs ran fast , they asked not, why.
Knew their masters were going to die
Would be gone in the flash of an eye
with little time to say goodbye
They couldn't save them,they didn't try
The wave broke hard, it didn't lie
Gallons of water, nothing to spy
The dogs are dead,no living to cry
Sent from my iPad
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
There are many stray dogs in Sri Lanka which is a Buddhist country and they wander the streets fed from dustbins and kindness. They belong to no one
Editing stage:
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Comments
Ian.T
Sun, 2013-01-13 05:31
Frenchf
Hey dogs don't know everything, lol they don't know when to stop barking nor to wipe their dirty feet when they come in from the muddy garden, and one bad thing not to lick my face when they have been busy lol.
There are many things we can learn from them and a good write here, we seem to have lost a lot of our instincts (Just had to shout at our little one as she barks when we are both busy in our office room lol)
They sense a change in the atmosphere just prior to and earthquake as do the birds, these things we have lost awareness of the energy fields around us.
Enjoyed the read though it can be expanded and splitting up into stanzas would look fine,
Yours as always , Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
loved
Sun, 2013-01-13 07:01
Oh dog! when I composed
Oh dog!
when I composed my maiden tsunami poem
i also discovered dogs
can sense things miles ahead,
so place a few on rafts out at sea
so help them to help thee
in an early warning
of the oncoming next tsunami
dogs love humans
so their sacrifice will gain importance
you will get a few seconds more
to take to your heels
God will in humans forever
love for the filial seal….
loved
Frenchf
Mon, 2013-01-14 08:59
Thanks to everyone for helpful comments
ephraim I agree I'll change it for the " some never returned"
sueb
Sun, 2013-01-13 09:04
great poem much enjoyed x
great poem much enjoyed x
Nordic cloud
Sun, 2013-01-13 09:55
They sense things dogs do.
They sense things dogs do.
We too have senses we never develop, I feel sure,
and some of us do, finding an even richer source of
knowledge. But the migrating birds don't know that
there's a factory on their feeding ground, and go back there
year after year, wading through oil and dirt, finding no food.
It is us who do not listen to nature, if we did, we wouldn't put
up factories where the birds come. We have a football ground,
it is that now, it was a haven for all the migrating birds,
the Old people could watch them from the windows of their
building and this made them fly past our flats, at our height,
that was a sight, our sensitivity is tried by nature, and either
we react, or we don't.
Exciting poem this, Love Ann.
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.
Bonitaj
Sun, 2013-01-13 13:47
Frenchf
I'm often unnerved by how sensitive dogs hearing and other senses are, perceiving them as too neurotic.
You have clearly described how it has benefits.
Good piece.
Bonitaj
Seren
Mon, 2013-01-14 06:24
Dear Frenchf
I have two dogs and they seem to always know when I am upset they become particulary attentive, mine do anyway, I sometimes have to lock them out to get some peace and quiet lol
I loved the poem but in the second stanza I would mix up the sounds of your end words a little bit the eye, why, was a little bit overdone and by the end felt forced
I love dogs so as soon as I saw the title I had to read it one of my favourite poems is by Pablo Neruda and its about his dog I will have to find it and send you a copy
regards JC xxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Frenchf
Mon, 2013-01-14 08:56
Yes I would love and hate that
love... Obvious hate cos the ex gave me some love poems of pablo's when he refused to stop practising his alternative life style
Frenchf
Sat, 2013-01-26 15:42
Just editing but
The second stanza was supposed to get faster and give urgency a bit like from a railway carriage by RL stevenson