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I Won't Complain

Submitted by mand on Mon, 2010-12-20 17:48

I’m not going to complain
That my clothes are too tight
And my legs are just sacks of cellulite.

And I won't grizzle and whine
About overstretched skin
The bags or the sags hung under my chin.

I won't whimper or cry
About varicose veins
Viciously throbbing and giving me pains.

I won't snivel or sob
That my vision is blurred
My hips disjoint and I can’t hear a word.

I suppose it’s natural
To be riddled with gout
For my bones to creak and my teeth to drop out.

I shan’t breath a word or whinge
That I dribble and leak
I’m losing my mind and my outlook is bleak.

No! I won't moan or complain
Or fly into a rage
They tell me this is just part of old age.

Why should I weep or wail
When at least I’m alive
The only thing is I’m just fifty five.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

mand

Tue, 2010-12-21 03:51

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Nice to see you. Don't worry it was meant to be funny Shirl - I haven't got gout and my hips don't disjoint - the rest is true, but I count myself lucky I've reached the age I have still in relative good health. Just thought I'd write something a bit light hearted - weird sense of humour. he he.

Great to hear from you - sorry I'm not around much, grandchildren have got swine flu!!

Keep safe - I recommend you keep clear of the swine fu.

Love Mand xxxxxxxxxx

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scribbler

Mon, 2010-12-20 22:49

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the problem with complaining to other people is that they then expect you to listen to Their complaints lol.This learned from 56 years experience. By the way, what in the name of Neptune's blue balls is "whinge "?..........stan

mand

Tue, 2010-12-21 03:57

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True - and listening to their complaints could take along time! Ha ha

Good to hear from you Stan

Love Mand

P.s How's your health? Ha ha

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mand

Tue, 2010-12-21 04:29

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Good to see you. I hope you are o.k!! True - I remember wanting to be older - it seemed so exciting to be able to do adult things. Internal peace and wisdom - more valuable than jewels and the ablility to see life crystal clear - beautiful - all of which are reflected in your poems.

Thank you for your observation with regard tercet! I've wrtten approx 35 poems - I think possibly it is my comfort zone!

Thank you for pointing out the typo - been corrected!

I appreciate you reading and commenting Amalzamani - It's always good to hear form you.

Love Mand xxxxxxx

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mand

Tue, 2010-12-21 07:46

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If I have made you smile, nothing else matters. So I am happy.

With love hugs and blessings

Mand xxxxxxxxx

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Hooded Stranger

Tue, 2010-12-21 13:00

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Mand,

this is hilarious.

I loved it and so did my wife.

I won't crit the missing apostrophe in 'won't'...oh shit! I just did.

regards,

HS

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mand

Tue, 2010-12-21 13:31

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Kind of you come take the time to read and comment! We all need a laugh sometimes!! he he

Ohh thanks for letting me know about the apostrophe - Well I am "losing my mind". Lol

Glad you both liked it.

POST IT!!!

Love Mand xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

author comment

hippiepoet69

Tue, 2010-12-21 15:02

but that would hurt. I'm too dam young to be this old. As long as we have a mind, We can live and enjoy. Take Care. huey

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