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The Game is now, Afoote

Time divided, quadrants four
season's desires show nothing more,
along with fate directed into threes;

past, and present, future tense
ceases making any sense!
Add lady fortune's magic, if you please!

I must of course, to my dismay
admit I do not know the way,
but fortune's hand slipped, that! Her only flaw;

at every moment you will learn
miscalculations tend to burn,
your shield is safe, but do not lose your claw!

~

Report who all doth whisper, so
with that much noise you're safe to go,
you can even use their breath to hide your tracks;

be noticed not, through jealous eyes
and ne'er defend your alibis',
else your fate is to be, not to relax!

If serendipity comes, again
and your thoughts lose, the last time when
she gave her own sweet voice to sing your song;

with each displaying their own worth
each defends, or denies their birth,
do not cause fate to think that she was, wrong.

~

Steer clear the scandalousity
it crouches low so you can't see,
hidden deep within each moment's haze;

I charge you once, to listen friend
these complications never end,
stay away from those who cannot see the maze;

no need to thank me, it's no fuss
as long we each remember, plus!
We save the claw, keeping safe our shields;

each truth will surface, in it's time
the equation equals quite the crime,
our actions each alone affect the yields.

~

Remember when all you could do
is hope you'd soon receive a clue?
Time's running out, and causing luck to halt;

yet, someone else can alter course
that's serendipity's strongest force,
which can change things to where it's not your fault!

Hopefully, sooner than late
you'll notice time can seal your fate,
that also, there's a wild-card in this game;

you will see what you have sought
with consequences finally taught,
the wild-card's known as destiny by name!

~

So, with life's strife you'll get your fill
your hopes and dreams may start to spill,
affecting all that you begin to choose;

variables, like love or doubt
can help you find your one way out,
but only after, you have paid your dues!

Of knowledge one should never fear
alone, it sharpens options clear,
be careful where your faith is finally put;

by then, you'll understand and see
alone, you hold your destiny,
use caution for, the game is now; afoote!

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Worked half the night with some half-pint abstract idea; which yielded.......this! Go figure. doc.
Editing stage: 

Comments

I'm impressed by many things here. The analogy that begins it runs as an under and overcurrent over the rest of what is said. I get the feeling that this is a very worked poem because the craft is either exquisite craft or a magical mistake. Bravo!

Ron

BlueDemon77

Blue Demon77

"What I want is to be what I was before the knife,
before the brooch pin, before the salve, fixed me in this parenthesis:
Horses fluent in the wind. A place, a time gone out of mind."

The Eye Mote-Sylvia Plath

...it was like before, when I wrote a poem called the Book of Whispers. It, too....was long...and, didn't really say anything! I guess I just had another urge to spotlight, vagueness.
Sincerely, thanx;
doc.

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

author comment

...there was a slight error. Those were two separate poems, combined.
Ooooppss...
....what's that? The kids, say....."...my bad."?
doc.
P.S,)-(In other words, I merely got excited during a "copy & paste" session.)

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

author comment

I hope vagueness inspires you again soon! I saw ethics, courage, and love in it's place. Beautiful piece.

Ron

Blue Demon77

"What I want is to be what I was before the knife,
before the brooch pin, before the salve, fixed me in this parenthesis:
Horses fluent in the wind. A place, a time gone out of mind."

The Eye Mote-Sylvia Plath

...you are seriously, too generous with your particular vebage!
Much appreciated,
sincerely;
doc.

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

author comment
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