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Streets of War

Submitted by Seren on Tue, 2012-12-11 04:44

I grow saddened,
our streets
have begun
to flow
with blood

our offspring
run wild,
animals they
prowl the streets
prey on the weak

king hits
and glassings,
blood forks
and the rivers
run ever deeper

police
overwhelmed
medics
understaffed
trying to stem
the flow of death,
rapes
bashings
shootings
murders

our children
are dying
our streets
show signs
of war

and still, we sit
and do nothing

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Seren

Sat, 2012-12-15 04:49

Seren's picture

I am glad you liked this one, its an ever increasing problem here in australia our young people go out get blotto and end up in fights killing each other its a sad state of affairs

love JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

Race_9togo

Wed, 2012-12-12 03:08

Race_9togo's picture
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The Short clipped lines make this very powerful, and there's a dense of despair here that shines dark to me.
Good stuff, no criticism.

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

Seren

Sat, 2012-12-15 04:51

Seren's picture

As I just said its a sad state of affairs but its a truth for many countries glad you got time to read this one, still havent finished this one still have to play round with it some

with love JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment
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