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MOURNING SUN

MOURNING SUN

The sun burns steel cold
sharp and cutting
reaching the depths of me.
I don’t hear birds singing
anymore.
and the noise
of all living things
sends shock waves
into my brain.

Did you know how much
I loved you
did you know how much
you meant to me
what do I do now
where do I go from here

Editing stage: 

Comments

That was agreat compliment, my friend.

author comment

Real men can be sensitive too.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
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We're all still little boys, Jess,, and when we are dying we call for our mothers. Ask anyone who works in a hospice,

I once said to you that no man can truly measure another man's pain, I think you can do a better job than I did,''

Joe

author comment

A beauty of a piece that held the feelings close, where do you go from here you asked.
If only we knew young Joe, but if they told us a series of truths, we would still be lost as to our final journey, but I will see you on the other side..
Take care young man, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

I hope so, Ian.

author comment

Wow! Joe! You have reached your core. Congratulations!

Love,
Anna

Thank you ,my Anna

author comment

Starting to read this, I thought at first "Oh well, just another angst poem".
Then I read the second stanza.
My gods, man, you hit the target, the loss, dead on. Sharp, clear and anguished.
Simply wonderful.

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

Another "angst poem,", huh? Why I oughta. LOL. This one surprised me too, Jim.

Thanks,

Joe

author comment

speechless
like any ordinary folk like me
would be....

too deep for a soul
to seep

loved

You are no way "ordinary", my friend.

author comment

are still so discerning
it marvels me

How I wish some day
I too could be
like thee

loved

Btw is steal or is it steel cold ? (Both would work, Joe).

"steel", thanks, Anna.

author comment
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