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He Crept

Submitted by sueb on Thu, 2012-12-06 14:35

He crept up on me
slowly
played my strings
tenderly
lowered walls
gingerly
built trust
persistently
teased me
constantly
praised me
loudly
I love him
unconditionally

Review Request (Intensity):

I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing stage:

Not actively editing

Comments

Seren

Fri, 2012-12-07 06:31

Heya Sue

I like the shorter lines I often use them myself, I really liked the poem I hope you showed him ;)

sincerely JC

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

sueb

Fri, 2012-12-07 06:38

Ah thanks so much well I

Ah thanks so much well I married him lol glad u enjoyed
kind regards
Sueb

author comment

Seren

Fri, 2012-12-07 06:41

I've been engaged for over 10 years one of these days I will marry his arse just hasnt seemed that important to me, im happy hes happy, he on the other hand is another matter he cant wait to get married

~JC

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

sueb

Fri, 2012-12-07 08:39

i only got married this

i only got married this y ear in July and the hardest part is living with him because we didn't beforehand u have all that work done lol x

author comment

weirdelf

Sun, 2012-12-09 02:42

You are such a victim

sueb, almost every poem of yours I have read makes you sound pathetic.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

sueb

Sun, 2012-12-09 14:20

thanks Jess

author comment

Neopoet

He Crept