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(untitled)
maybe in the way of owning your loving heart
i might lose the chance and we'll fall apart..
still,of this great day you became the sweetest part
i fell for you not by recession but by means of art
i might disappear right after this poem,
and will be contented with this time for a while,
but forever will i wish i could have a chance to see you again,
without knowing when and not knowing your name..
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
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Comments
mona
Mon, 2010-12-20 08:20
so beautiuful
Peter
this is so romantic ,beautiful poem.
Mona Rose
Kailashana2
Mon, 2010-12-20 09:17
I agree, Mona...a keeper and
I agree, Mona...a keeper and a kept secret locked in one's heart
~A