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AWAKE

It's four A.M. the cold wind blows
seeking entry into silent house
yet tired eyes refuse to close
pen darts on paper like a mouse
transfering thoughts and verse from mind

Through the window sickle moon
slowly slides across the sky
daylight will be breaking soon
as frost forms on a land turned dry
on mantle, clock gears slowly grind

Muffled goose calls reach my ear
a southbound flight in starry night
to be heard inside they must be near
by dawn they'll be far out of sight
having left this poet far behind

A gust moans in the abode's eaves
as lid grow heavy on old eyes
last thoughts before wakefulness leaves
is the loss of youth which I despise
and hope the new day will be kind

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

I remember having to be on a train
travelling to visit
or driving having to be to work
summer job in a city

Sometimes I just cant sleep too
awake and seeing the thing fingers of
dawn crawling over the horizon

the dogs wake me for the walk
and we go out
the moon sometimes in the sky to
the west
fired up with light
the morning crimson and dull
still just arriving

we walk on our trail nearby
urban with trees watching the
geese too moving from the big
city lake to the small residential
lake Keeping low
and calling

walking feeling the aches and pains
moving feeling the work ahead
shaking my head knowing I can
get through this day
Even after being up all night long
sometimes

Great poem on nature and I love
the rhyme
love the thoughts about again
and closing lines

Thank You

Sometimes it seems you can be too tired to sleep lol. It's always nice to see you show up for a visit and let me know how a poem affected you.....................stan

author comment

by dawn they'll be far out of sight
having left ...........................

this poet............................................................ far far and far far behind

hahahahahh aaa
u asked for it Stan

loved

That's far behind not fart behind lol................stan

author comment

I miss you, and your writing.! Wish I knew more, to compliment you
on your style and meter. This is awesome. I live on a river and directly
behind my house is a cove. The muffled sound of the geese I know
only too well. Great images Stan.

Happy Holidays, to youa nd yours.

Sue

Good to see you here and don't worry about complimenting as long as you like it............stan

author comment
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