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//////////////////////////////////RAZERWEIR//////////////////////////////

flash
muzzle
POC! POC! POC!

cabin attendants
will gather flight sickness
samples

the captain is calm
his handshake getting
on was like a warm dead
fish

My guts are twisting like
the rain A face against
the morning

How can tracers burn in all
this..A lightning flash
and I strain again

specialist Johann is happy
the loaders have pushed off
the latest crash
we should roll over it with miminal
loss of tires

the new regime sank
like a greasy plate in a sink

sixty pounds of flak vest
and digital cameras
and maybe my helmet full
of puke

I thought the world would
end much more prettier then
this

diplomacy is building walls
to keep neighbours in
not out

journalists have an eight day
rotation
and a three day expiry date

its drier here
and no news back home
if they found my car
swept down the valley
along with the town and
a few old reprobates

all these "tourist guides"
carry desert eagles

feels like we are landing on
the rooftops and hitting all
the satellite dishs

There goes all the puke bags
beats the hell out of bungee jumpin'
and naw Im not scared
till something rips off the front
nose gear and I break my nose
and the lights go out

and for once I cant hear myself
scream!!!

Editing stage: 

Comments

This story is complex, not sure where to start and as others have passed this one by, well not good .
I am taken aboard an aircraft going into a battle zone, sounds like a storm took care of the rest and the nerves that ripped at the feelings causing so much grief even in a combat troop.
May be he was new to the task of the battle field, sounds like going into a dropping off place in Vietnam.
To me it took off and was a very descriptive write and a place where many never returned from..
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

appreciate that you are telling me you are the spokesperson for "others" now
That they have passed this by and told you their confidant and now you are
now telling me that its.."well not good"

Because its a complex story

well I can write a simpler version I guess
This ones not about any one battefeild
I think they tend to be all the same
and the weather rules whatever man wants
anyway as it shall always

war is not about returning
that is a gift if this happens

Well Ian please go tell them that next time
I shall write a less complex piece
and that I wish to be Good

After all it is coming on Christmas and
although Coal is a very pretty material
and useful One lump of it doesnt do much
good in a stocking on the mantle

Thank You

author comment

I did not say anything about speaking for other people I said :-
(( This story is complex, not sure where to start and as others have passed this one by, well not good .)) (It was in the Undiscovered too long)
That is what I said-- That they had not commented on your work, so I assumed they were having trouble with its content in some way, and they had passed it by.
I took the trouble to come back to it several times, and eventually saw the picture you had portrayed, and as I have been in a similar place just the once doing a battle landing in a Hercules aircraft.
Anyway thanks for your assumption and cynical remark to me, as this good poem had been in the undiscovered far too long, I thought I had better see what it was about and put a comment on its theme and content., Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

and anyway you can cut it any way you see fit I just tell it like I see it
Here and in life and in my poetry

Sorry!!

You could have just left your comment without its acid touch
OR do you do this to all the Undiscovered Work you comment on
if you do I feel badly for the others whom may be more sensitive then I

and I dont assume!
this one is bare ass
there

Thank You

author comment

let's not battle
over a peg!
nor on a poetry
how so ever
epicurial
yet unread

loved

Thanks for stopping by
this is just a rattly old poem I
cranked out keeping in touch with
the present circumstances in the
mid-east..Not that battles are
something new there...

I like the word Epicurial
you are a poet with such
language Loved

Thank You!

author comment

you never read many

nor do you comment over comments
I'm glad about it
as a creator of words
I must say
thank god Shakespeare had no critiques like today....
else he would have been dwarfed
on his sojourn to immortality
which alone comes his way
so I produce words such as
epicurial
my love for you all is fortunately real
that alone this silly one can say

loved

And Loved..I do comment
just not on the mass amounts

author comment

great you help me stay

loved

so we can corner and tuck and roll
when we need to bale sometimes in life
Stand up shake the dust off
go WOW
and head onto to a new adventure

others go off and wear bumps
like great calamities against them
to round the soft sympathy from others

the real ones who got hit hard
roll with it

checking
for other things
that are more important to do
people that are talking about
the new
the focus

Yah Im tough skinned too
and thanks
and I had a good mommy

author comment

i am pasting on my writers wall

can I have your permission to share it with all

loved

Sometimes there is not enough humilty
nor empathy..and great focus on fault

We forget the people of Japan who were
living their coastal lives
the villagers in shri lanka
a poet yet found or read in Syria

Today I was patient in the busy shopping lines
and bought groceries and carried forty pounds
the two kilometers on a well lit street
safe...My worn out bike I cant repair yet

I dont have to pick up water from five miles
for an ailing family member who recieves no
care in other countries...for cooking..
drinking...washing...Every day

people get lost in themselves
too often

Im thinking about the sadness
of the Newtown
and what I can do here with
my family

We are not perfect here No way
but we realize what we have
we are at least this aware
and tell each other we love one
another and care..

thats what my pack teachs me
they guide me and tell me whats
ahead on the trail and pull me up
the hill on the leads

get me out of myself
and for this I thank my God
and for meeting poets like you Loved
who steadfast continue on
the poet writing

Thank You!

author comment

others could be anointed
by your sacred touch

my advice to victims of rape was...
which was vehemently objected to
by so classified asses
they dared to address......

thanks a lot All
we combined can provide the healing touch
to grave victims to be brave
after the sad event
place it behind their minds
at the most
and push ahead
fearless
what else
the RAPISTS ARE PSYCHIC...

loved

I contest the statements about this not being a good poem. It is good and more than that. The tension and amorphous dread contained here are highly advanced techniques, and a very successful poem can ride the tide of its own intensity. Not all art passes through the intellectual realm. This one attacks the gut. Excellent work, Esker.

Ron

BlueDemon77

Blue Demon77

"What I want is to be what I was before the knife,
before the brooch pin, before the salve, fixed me in this parenthesis:
Horses fluent in the wind. A place, a time gone out of mind."

The Eye Mote-Sylvia Plath

Media has always been an interest for me
Ive met many talented before me
who can write much more descripts
but perhaps it is not the correct form
the correct lighting in window display
but the :raw polish: that grit makes

I very happy that this spoke to you
and in such a manner as is wrote here

I read a lot of dispatchs from the front
in memoir and from the lines when they
had time to write and all that made
it home..Many were written posthumous
the stories

A lot of them were just writing it as it fell
or went along in its mind numbing ordinary

Thank You Ron

author comment
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