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smiler me!

Submitted by loved on Mon, 2012-10-29 09:59

make one smile each day
like in sunshine you make hay

and when the sun is about to set
have a dozen guys smiling you bet
and
as drinks go round
the barman will come around,
smile at him one or two
perhaps someday he may woo you
okay add she may too.
the only thing that comes for free
is smiles
it’s the only exercise that gyms don’t charge too
only if you smile at the gym tough guy phew!
okay gym lady maybe.
so all I can award to all
smile a while
and take a sabbatical from poetry today
as you smile down the hallway
or the Times Square maybe
smile along or with or at me...

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Ian.T

Sun, 2012-11-11 11:55

Ian.T's picture
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OMG I have tried several of your suggestions and now I am in a lovely hospital bed, the barman threw me out and I hit the lamp post that just happened to be on the path..
I smiled at both the Gym Lady and her man, those bloody wall bars came at me so fast I couldn't do a thing so I am now resting in my hospital bed,
with a beautiful nurse on each side one male the other female,
I just don't know what to do, or where to look I am scared and it is all your fault. You are so lucky that I am a pensioner and my treatment is free.
They say my ribs will heal in a few weeks, and the head well it may not recover, as it has forgotten who I am, lucky I had my driving thing in my pocket, but no one will come and take me home if I have one.
I will have to go there are now two Doctors here wanting to know if I can move my head left and right, and asking if I can see ok, one is male the other is female, well you would have asked, whoever you are.
Bye for now, ?????? I think Tea

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

loved

Sun, 2012-11-11 12:09

loved's picture

they discovered a teen twosome
one a gal the other a guy
and gal wearing guy’s garb
and the guy was inside gals attire...
they sent them into a fire
and lo and behold
they came out hand in hand
having exchanged their natural stand ...
the guy became a gal
then she said why I should lag behind
she had a handle in her hand
and then the padre said
I damn care who is who
as long as one is with a handle
the other without one

so the turned over twins
still friendly
changed their positions
gal became a guy and vice versa
still in the same bed
go and see
so tell the lady doctor
to exchange with lada doctor
whom you alone can bully
not me..

loved

author comment

Ian.T

Sun, 2012-11-11 14:00

Ian.T's picture
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You are Loved

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

scribbler

Sun, 2012-11-11 17:21

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SMILE! It keeps friends close and makes enemies wonder what you're up to lol. Line 8 maybe try "aim at him a smile or two" . Nice lighthearted poem for the day...............stan

loved

Mon, 2012-11-12 00:43

loved's picture

hi Stan
hope you did smile
all your life's while

loved

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