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The stars loom over us
we watch, listen, wonder.
We seek something bigger.

Radiant as we are,
there is no ending here.

Space is suffocating,
it sees no depth to us.
We are as we are.

Eyes reflect what they see,
we see what we are.

Holding back time for now,
we see where we once were,
and look past to the end.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
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Comments

This is a lot better and you have taken much more care with the layout.
Try to get away from the same word on the end of lines such as--US and ARE there are many things you can do to try having a go at --
"Eternal Renga Continues" it will assist you in syllable count and the stanzas are two and three liners, Take care hear from you soon,
Yours Ian.T

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There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

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