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Love

A gentle rain kissed moment
The soft touch of a hand.
A whispered word you reach for
And hope to understand.
A sigh a smile that lingers
A lonely sad goodbye.
The instant that your out of sight
I pause to wonder why.
***
And then those words so special
The ones you sometimes say.
How often do we hear them said?
Then blindly cast away.
A moment then a minute
An hour then a day.
Then suddenly you realise
There’s nothing left to say.
***
A cool breeze shared by moon light
A memory fresh and new.
A loneliness that’s growing
And tries to talk to you.
To need to hold remember
To touch to kiss to cry.
I asked you why I feel this why
Its love I heard you sigh.
***
Now dawn creeps up so softly
A shadow from the Fire.
Reminds me of what burns inside
It has a name desire.
But can I reach you touch you
In this lonely moment no.
A sad and lonely thing is love
With nowhere left to go.
***
But look the sun is rising
And the long night cannot stay.
I could have said these things to you
But pride got in the way.
So blind we sometimes struggle
And when we do there’s only pain.
Forgive me with a gentle kiss
Let’s begin to love again.

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Comments

Oh Bravo, well said and so well worded,

The turn of phrase with metaphor well put too...
"A shadow from the Fire.

Reminds me of what burns inside

It has a name desire."

A good poem, what more can I say,
except that I think(!) moonlight is one word!

Ann of Norway.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

Many thanks Ann its always leaves a warm feeling when someone appreciates what you are trying to achieve on the journey. And yes quite correct on moonlight

author comment

A gentle, rain kissed moment
A sigh, a smile that lingers
A lonely, sad goodbye. a little more punctuation here and in the next Ss would help the reader.

***
And then those words so special
The ones you sometimes say.
How often do we hear them said?
Then blindly cast away.
A moment then a minute
An hour then a day.
Then suddenly you realise
There’s nothing left to say. this S is hard to fault, its simple but the melody is beautiful, a pleasure to read (and to sing!!).
***
A cool breeze shared by moon light
A memory fresh and new.
A loneliness that’s growing
And tries to talk to you.
To need, to hold, remember
To touch, to kiss, to cry.
I asked you why I feel this (why) way?
Its love, I heard you sigh. I like the first line of this S but the rest, eg memories, remember, kiss, cry, to need, to hold, are all very general words, don't really distinguish your relationship from any other. I'd omit this S.
***

The last 2 Ss seem again very assured and sonically right, nothing at all to fault.
so much of this poem is so melodic I can hear a chantreuse turning it into a hit song. Is there a songwriting forum you should be joining?
kind regards
ross

Praise indeed thank you Ross, and thank you for taking the time to read my work it means a lot on my road to discovery.

author comment
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