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An Ode to Edgar Allan poe

Submitted by mike carter on Tue, 2012-11-06 04:43

SILENCE BROKEN NOT BY MIDNIGHT
TOMBSTONE BY YON MOONLIGHT GLEAMS
WHERE IN EONS PAST I FANCY
HE HAD DWELT ON SPECTRAL DREAMS

SOFT LIGHT FALLS UPON THE IVY
SPREAD ACROSS AN ANGELS WINGS
WHERE UPON A BROKEN BIBLE
ECHOES AS A RAVEN SINGS

LONG FORGOTTEN LOST THIS CHURCHYARD
SPURNED BY ALL IN DEAD OF NIGHT
RUSTLING NEATH THE VAULTED PILLARS
STEALTHY CREATURE OUT OF SIGHT

EDGAR ALLAN TWAS I HASTEN
HAUNTED BY A DREADFUL DEED
DID INVADE THIS GLADE OF MEMORY
FOR TO PLANT HIS WRITTEN SEED

DEMON CONJURED FORTH FROM NOWHERE
LEONORE AND LONG LOST LOVE
THEN I WITNESS DARKENING STORM CLOUDS
AS THEY GATHER UP ABOVE

TREMBLE THEN AT WHAT HE VENTURED
TO BRING FORTH FROM DEEP WITHIN
BROKEN BRANCH A NIGHT OWL WHISPERS
JUST AS NIGHMARES DO BEGIN

BRING ME BACK THEN INTO DAWN LIGHT
FROM THE HAUNTED HALLS OF DEATH
WHERE THE FETID STENCH OF REASON
DISSAPEARS WITH EVERY BREATH

EDGAR ALLAN IN MY MINDS EYE
ENDS MY JOURNEY AT THE DOOR
FOR AS QUOTED IN THE RAVEN
I CAN LINGER NEVERMORE

Review Request (Direction): 
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Last few words: 
for the Candlewitch
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

judyanne

Tue, 2012-11-06 05:22

judyanne's picture
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i really like this
the rhythm is good, although i did stumble at

‘to bring forth from deep within’
and
‘bring me back then into dawn light’

a couple of typos
‘dissapears with every breath’ – disappears
and
‘Edgar Allan in my minds eye’ – mind’s

and ‘rustling neath the vaulted pillars’ – ‘neath (needs an apostrophe to signify the missing letters)

I have only two questions

Why did you write this all in upper case? – with the written word, uppercase usually means shouting….

And did you mean to write this in fixed meter? If you did, the scansion is out in places – if you didn’t, as I said above, I found the flow a tad (and only a tad) rough at the lines I quoted

I think if you worked on this a little and used more a set iambic/ trochaic it would improve a good poem to a great poem (and imo, as you are honouring Poe, I think the meter is important…)

just me

as I said – I really enjoyed reading this

love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

Nordic cloud

Fri, 2012-11-09 04:04

Nordic cloud's picture

I too enjoyed reading this, but not yon capital letters, they were heavy to ponder. I agree with judyanne on this, her crit.

Love Ann.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

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