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L'éphémère

Je ne sais pas pourquoi la rue
est si mauvaise ou où elle va.
Ma vie est très éphémère, oui.
Ta vie est très éphémère, oui.
Il n'y a rien sans la brume.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
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Comments

n'est pas mal mais pourquoi en francais, es tu francais ou quebecois?

Je suis américaine mais je peux parler un peu de français. Et vous? Venez-vous d'une pays francophone?

author comment

La poésie bilingue: il y a des choses qui s'expriment mieux dans une langue étrangère que l'on ne sait pas rendre en anglais, Je ne pense pas que ce petit "bijou" de poésie ait tant réussi autrement écrit.

La poème est en français parce que je peux écrire la comme ça. Lol

author comment

learnt french when very young and have kept it up via movies and reading but never been to france, did get to Moroc and spoke it there, but that was a long time ago.

écolière français est autant que je sache
assez pour me en cas d'urgence
Je peux écrire, (mal)
mais mon accent est horrible

donc je ne peux pas critiquer ce
je peux compter seulement les syllabes français
lol -
j'ai une traduction
J'espère que ce n'est pas trop mauvais

I don’t know why the street
If bad or where it goes.
My life is very fleeting, Yes.
Your life is very fleeting, Yes.
There's nothing without fog

i like what it says
lol - i think i might have that last line wrong - please correct me if i do
but i love the way it rolls off the tongue (even mine)
'Il n'y a pas rien sans la brume.'

it is a pretty language, French
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

The begining is "is so". Not "if". That's the only incorrect thing. Lol. It's minor. Thanks

author comment

but I never learned it
sad for me

I like your poem though

and the line about fog is epic!

thank you

Lol. Thanks. I know English, passable French and basic Spanish.

author comment

On a scale of 1-10 how would you rate this poem overall? Quality? Meter? Technique? BE BRUTAL!!!!

author comment

Très bien composé. ton poème. Attention, pourtant, à la suivante:

...mauvaisE [la vie= substantif féminin
..il n'y a rien [ "rien" remplace "pas" comme expression négative]

Thanks much !!! :). Im a little rusty in my French, as I haven't used it regularly in over a year they were careless mistakes and I should have known better. Lol. Next semester I will be back in my French class again! I can't wait to be done with Spanish and get back to my linguistic passion. Lol.

author comment

Je suis desolée.

author comment

Oops "la rue" pas"la vie."

Pourquoi être désolée ? C'est un petit bijou que tu as créé là.

J'écris de la poésie dans d'autres langues et j' y trouve toujours bien des erreurs. C'est tout à fait normal. :)

Tried to switch back to English, but it didn't work.
Seriously, it is one of the most tragic aspects of our lives as poets that we are limited to enjoying only that poetry written in a language we understand. Translations are handy, but they cannot convey the beauty of the work... only content which is but a percentage of a poem's glory.
What I wouldn't give to be able to read Latin and thereby truly revel in Ovid and Virgil.
Or Italian and Dante.
Or Greek and Homer.
Or... at least I have Bill and Milton.
And you Rhiannon... part of the time.
wesley

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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And, Wesley,. have you read the bilingual poems in Portuguese, Italian, Spanish, French and Germanthat I havee posted here,hmmm???

This poem is a "jewell" ,and she needs to write more.

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