Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Lifetimes
I’ve lived in many ages
Different bodies every time
Like a book with many pages
Every chapter has been mine
I’ve worked in deep dark slave-mines
I’ve had bodies white and black
I’ve lived as royalty sometimes
And I just keep coming back
I’ve lived as male and female
Only bodies give me gender
Looking back at time’s long trail
Every lifetime is a wonder
I’ve been on other planets
Been a baby many times
With always different parents
Of my various body lines
I’ve captained stately sail ships
Been a boxer in a ring
I’ve drowned in dangerous tide rips
Been beheaded by a King
On an island in an ocean
I’ve lived on plants and fish
As a witch I made a potion
And I served it in a dish
In a battle I was captured
Taken prisoner by the foe
And then I was enraptured
By a fiddler with a bow
On a space ship in a battle
I was blown to kingdom-come
By a snake that had a rattle
I was bitten on the tongue
On a planet in Orion
I’ve built palaces of slate
On the swamp-worlds of Aldebaran
I’ve farmed zen-worms with my mate
I’ve strung bridges over ravens
Cut wind-sails for a boat
Designed a castle on a mountain
And ringed it with a moat
In a lifetime on Sole’s Terra
I carved pictures in the rocks
And while living as Aunt Sara
I sewed holes in children’s socks
Body after body grows
Baby to adult
I’m born and live and go
Is it all to no result?
What keeps me coming back
Is a duty to my friends
For there’s something that’s alack
In the universe’s trends
We are eternal life-beings
And once were close to gods
Now crushed and broken has-beens
We’ve sunk beneath the sods
Better times are coming
A golden age is near
The future can be stunning
If we all do our share
Then back to playing games again
Creating things of beauty
I’ll rocket through the meteor rain
And shuttle stellar booty
Sail windcars on the Martian seas
Fly racing ships in space
Mine diamralds on the planet Meece
A smile back on my face
I’ll dine with Kings
Wear diamrald rings
Breed cats with wings
And other things
And if I chose
And I’m not trapped
With naught to lose
I might come back
For lifetimes!
Barry Nelson
Copyright © 2012, All Rights Reserved
May be reproduced as is with this full acknowledgement and rider
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words:
This poem is in umbrella genre, "Spiritive" = "non-religious celebration of the spirit".
I am interested in knowing how you like the idea of celebrating the simple fact of the seniority of ourselves as immortal spirits without the competing dogma of all the religions.
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Candlewitch
Thu, 2012-11-01 10:58
Hello Barry,
I believe in reincarnation and found the story line of your write to be delightful! Some of the rhyming lines were a little off. Such as: "near and share" but it did not interfere with the end result of celebration of life. My favorite lines are:
On an island in an ocean
I’ve lived on plants and fish
As a witch I made a potion
And I served it in a dish
In a battle I was captured
Taken prisoner by the foe
And then I was enraptured
By a fiddler with a bow
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Barry Nelson
Fri, 2012-11-02 13:53
Hi Cat
Thanks so much for your kind and helpful words. I am glad you like the subject matter.
B
author commentjudyanne
Thu, 2012-11-01 22:42
hello barry - welcome to neopoet
I really like the simplicity of this write
and the rhythm is smooth enough. I would be interested in knowing if you were trying for regular meter
there are a lot of lines where the scansion is out a tad. I don’t know if you wanted it all in iambic/ trochaic, or if you meant to mix, and your transitions are smooth enough on the whole….
I just love the verses
‘And while living as Aunt Sara
I sewed holes in children’s socks’
and
'Now crushed and broken has-beens
We’ve sunk beneath the sods’
as well as the coinage in
‘Mine diamralds on the planet Meece’
I enjoyed the read
love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
Barry Nelson
Fri, 2012-11-02 13:57
Hi Judy
Thanks a lot for the feed back. Much appreciated. - It was intended to be mixed.
B
author commentwesley snow
Thu, 2012-11-01 22:54
Well met Barry.
I'm afraid I don't share your optimistic view of the spirit, but I do like the poetry. A lot of very fun perspectives in a very gentle piece. Although I'm something of a stick in the mud about form, I found nothing here that troubled the read for me. I don't know if it's worth a genre, but it is most certainly worth reading.
Welcome to NeoPoet. I hope you find reasons abundant here to stay.
wesley
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
Barry Nelson
Fri, 2012-11-02 14:00
Hi Wesley
Thanks a lot for your welcome and encouraging remarks. (I have factual stories of the spirit that make fiction stories pale.)
B
author commentRoscoe Lane
Fri, 2012-11-02 04:16
A warm,
A warm heartfelt welcome to Neopoet, loved this poem great for kids and adults alike. I agree with all the above as well, just one little mistake i spotted, did you mean ravines, in verse ten when you wrote. I've strung bridges over ravens. Regards Roscoe...
Roscoe Llane,
Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.
Barry Nelson
Fri, 2012-11-02 14:04
Hi Rosco
Thanks for the welcome and encouragement Rosco - and for spotting the typo for me.
B
author comment