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Fire
Why do I want you so damn bad?
You really make me squirm.
My innards rip apart in fire.
With just a single look from you,
My soul is set to burn.
Editing stage:
Workshop:
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Comments
judyanne
Mon, 2012-10-22 00:56
great iambic
and the tetrameter/trimeter mix works great - especially the extra tetrameter..
is this a particular form? tell me if you know the name of it - or is it one you thought up? lol in which case we'll have to name it 'the rhiannon'...
good write - the meter helps in making the pace of urgency the words convey
love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
Rhiannon1010
Mon, 2012-10-22 09:27
This form came purely from my
This form came purely from my soul. Lol
introvert
Mon, 2012-10-22 06:58
Hi, there
Its like you saw my heart and wrote this. I love it.
Rhiannon1010
Mon, 2012-10-22 09:28
I'm glad you like it.
I'm glad you like it.
Rhiannon1010
Mon, 2012-10-22 09:29
This is honestly my first
This is honestly my first real attempt at any meter. I tried it because I'm starting a workshop soon on meter.
Esker
Sun, 2012-10-28 23:12
Im looking at Meter in a whole new light
Maybe that glow!!
poetic passion!!
excellent!