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Hurt

Submitted by Rhiannon1010 on Mon, 2012-10-15 21:42

Don't you remember,
All those long classes that felt too short?
Giggling at the teacher as she enthusiastically spoke of moss sex?
The deep intimate note we passed, an the secrets we shared?

Surely she knew of what we spoke,
Taboo and new.
She never minded though, because we were her stars
in the black night of public school.

We formed a bond as tight as the nucleotides that we studied.
Adenine, thymine, guanine, cytosine.
Steadfast friends, and maybe more?
Until you went away.

A different school for each of us,
though my halls are still the same.
Without you here, the walls are drab.
The days are but mirrors for the decor.

"We'll keep in touch".
YOU PROMISED!
And so we did, for a time.
Going downtown every Friday.

Drinking tea and eating crêpes.
I gladly payed for everything.
To me, our relationship was worth too much
For me to risk with conflict.

You have a job, and I do not,
But what did I ever ask for?
Just for you to pay for parking occasionally.
I gave, and gave in, and gave.

I hate the choices that you made
Though I never criticize.
I'm more than fair about this whole thing,
Even though it is killing me inside.

Now you don't call,
Or come to see me,
Because my house "is no fun."
A simple text would fill my life with joy.

Why won't you ever respond to my intellectual advances?
I try to get I touch,
But you never have the time to pick up the phone.
In six day this is all you have to say.

N
I
T
E.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

judyanne

Tue, 2012-10-16 12:27

judyanne's picture
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i really like the line 'I gave, and gave in, and gave'

a sad write - friends are fickle are they not?

one little suggestion
'A simple text would take my life with joy'
might work better as
'A simple text would fill my life with joy' - lol - just me

love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

Rhiannon1010

Tue, 2012-10-16 13:16

Rhiannon1010's picture

Tanks for the correction.

author comment

Esker

Wed, 2015-09-23 18:47

Esker's picture

my pocket knives grow slimmer...
and the haters grow thinner...

great poetry..well written
a pedestrian walk
how too veer from that
is the wild walk
and do all we?

I wonder

my chum dumping me
and I them...chumps
time was intelligence
for their boredom
and unstuckness from
the ruts they ran

I watch the sucess stories
but cant relate
I love the shadows
and pain too much
to leave my haunted
rooms

your work I love
pleasantry in that darkness
the end we know will
not end
the void
where people
walk away

they want excitement
power and control
they want to free that
beast and inflict
stretch that
to the edge
retreat

no one would pay to
see someone put their
head in a lions mouth
forever
and the lion would
bore
happier to run and
pull down something
fresh

"we were her stars in the black night
of public school"

I do like how you do obtusely remove
sections...run a poem without this
and that...like magic and mimework
and there is more then mere obvious...
watched an albino girl run the soup
kitchen today
shes just a girl
put n brunette hair and shes just
young and learning the ropes not
an exotic ghost...and the rest of
the rabble bid her no mind

unless one has a poetic mind
a vend for beyond the obvious
and much...

princess gone for week
Im on my own..no one liners
but freedom to wander
read poems
not running to the store
sitting in the room
worrying...fretting
tension gone

for now

"moss sex" I think of Virginia Wolf...
walks in the woods with my dog and
how many women I meet up there
the woods more personal too them

your poetry touches of a lot..
you have the eye
its like being a magician
rabbits from hats
but how
that dazzle works
in the hands
the soul

thank U

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