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The Blackheart of New Orleans...

New Orleans at midnight
Fog rolling down the street
Grey wall cuts off his sight
The air is nothing sweet

A born killer’s dream come true
Blue jazz floats upon the air
Feeds his need for something new
He knows... that it’s out there

Killer’s instincts brought him here
To this place of magic
A land of supernatural fear
Ghosts of all the tragic

In the back of Shadow Lane
A blackest heart does live
The man is quite insane
Takes his pleasure, never gives

Foul smells come from his breath
He sniffs the stagnant air
He must create some death
Innocence... beware!

Now Killer needs a reason
To kill a man or beast
It’s just not open season
Because he wants to feast

Not the slaying of the weakest
Nor taking of the young
In making sure, no contest
When the trap is sprung

So to stop this craven killing
Killer stalks the night
His eyes are simply chilling
If you behold his sight

Killer’s fists are clenched in rage
This monster kills for fun!
But Killer writes a different page
This demon’s day is done

He finds the killer, standing
The victim cowering at his feet
Killer’s voice so commanding
You’re someone I’d like to meet

You’ve taken lesser, weaker prey
‘Twas no authentic fight
Listen here, I say!
Let’s get it on tonight

I’m betting you ain’t got it
To take my equal down
I’ll fight you to the death
For the "Orlen’s" crown

Blackheart tries to run away
But Killer’s quicker still
You won’t leave alive , I say
I’ll teach you how to kill

With that, he grabbed him by the arm
Swung him off his feet
Teeth all bared in a grin of charm
I’ve got this sucker beat!

What Killer didn’t realize
Is Blackheart had fought before
And though he was small sized
He had won a whole lot more

Killer lunged and swung a fist
B.H. stepped back and ducked
The fog swirled in, a thickened mist
He thought , "Oh shit, I’m fucked"

Then from behind, he heard a sound
The scrape of a padded shoe
He moved aside and swung around
It was... you know who

They closed upon each other
Clawing for a hold
No faces loved by mother
Both souls already sold

Killer finally reached his knife
As Blackheart fought and bit
Both tried for the other’s life
In alleys dimly lit

The sun was nudging the horizon
Fog was clearing fast
Killer knew that “mother’s son”
Was going to breathe his last

A single ray of sunshine
Broke through the foggy wall
Pierced a sky of gray and wine
Blackheart began to fall

The blade of Killer ran him through
Slashed a trail into his guts
Blackheart lay upon the dew
Now Killer shows him what

Killer tears the core of evil out
His knife of steel, rips flesh and bone
This demon’s done, he shouts
Here’s his heart of stone

A body slashed and with no head
Came to rest upon a post
Blackheart’s proof that he was dead
Gone to join the ghosts

The people of the Orle'ns city
Fear Shadow Lane no more
Amongst them is no pity
None fear to pass Blackheart’s door

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
I dreamed about New Orleans the other night and I was lost in the fog. In my dream I kept seeing a sign that said Shadow Lane. I don't know if the is really a Shadow Lane in New Orleans or not, but when i awoke, I started this poem. I hope all my Killer fans like it.
Editing stage: 

Comments

You have now put the scare on those poor people of New Orleans.
Shadow lane is in New Orleans the district of Metairie, it leads off of Orpheum avenue that runs along the river bank, the lane has no exit just right for Killer to go get someone lol. It would probably be foggy this time of the year. I shall have to keep an eye on you do you sleep walk ???? LOL fearful ones at that..
Damn another place that I have to avoid..
Great write there Gee good to see Killer is having a holiday. Take care and I am so glad that the Atlantic is so wide.
Yours as always, Ian.T

PS:- What has Killer done..did you know that "Blackheart of New Orleans" is a branch of a large witches organisation you had better get Killer out of there now.
LOL Yours Sparrow

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

doesn't sleep walk, but he has nightmares. You see; He dreams that he's in this quiet, peaceful place, the sun is shining, the birds are singing and the world is beautiful. There is nothing to eat but juicy fruits and berries. But then, his face is covered with something warm and salty. It drips and slobbers on his lips! Anubis! Thank the gods that I didn't take you out yet! You saved me! It was terrible! LOL Thanks for the read and comments. ~ Gee

P.S. ~ Killer did them a favor, he was about to reveal some very secret things about the coven. Besides, he was too blatant when he killed. He was attracting to much attention to them.

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author comment

It is wonderful that Killer has made some new friends??? it was so interesting to find where he had been, I was beginning to worry that he may have been on a cheap cruise to Europe lol.
I look forward to his Dennis Wheatley type of killing spree,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Gory but great, another bloody night with killer. Great story poem. Regards Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

There is another one coming soon. Killer is rewarded by the Blackheart coven with an introduction to a voodoo princess. Thanks for the comments ~ Gee

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author comment

The rhythm and pace were wonderful there were a couple of places I might tweek ... I am tired I will come back tomorrow and let you know my thoughts nearly midnight here and its hot wanna try to get some sleep in the cool of the night ... our days are hot as, you should send killer down under for the summer, I am sure he would love the heat and a whole other country to hunt ;)

Its just nice to read you all again I have missed it

higgliest bugs Jc xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

and just might decide to sample some of the cusine down under. Are there any good tales of cannibalism there?
Good to see you again too. We have just moved into a new apartment and hoping that our heat bills are going to be better this winter. Haven't turned on the heat yet, but it won't be long. Love and higgest bugs, ~ Gee

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author comment

There was a woman two hours south of us who worked at a meatworks she killed her husband and feed him to the kids in a stew .. true story and she is obviously locked up where she belongs lol

hugz xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

that you have given me the germ of an idea for a Killer poem when Killer gets to Aussieland. Thanks. ~ Love and higgest bugs, ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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author comment

Thank the Grand Master that killer is on his way to drink in the ways of Aussie land, I shall see if there are any of my friends there.
Also a few of the enemies that would provide a feast for him after his long journey He He, This is going to be fun,
Yours, Gyps fulvus

PS Just put Australian Cannibals in your search engine, they are looking forward to a visit from Killer..

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

still a little ways from California, where his jumping off point is. He will be visiting a few places before he gets to Australia. So glad that you are keeping track of his progress. ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment
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