Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Death by uselessness.

Death by uselessness.

What do you do?
Reproduce?
You'll be forgotten in three generations.

Write poetry?
Oh please, you'll be forgotten in five minutes.

Let's face it,
you are soon gone and forgotten.

Immortality is a farce.
Reproduction is most often perpetrated
by the inept and morons,
a reversal of natural selection.

Who said human life is sancrosanct?
Who said that?
Some religious freak.

It's not nice to kill other people,
but that is pragmatic,
you get punished.

You want to make a difference?
Spread memes,
tell truths

like corporations are evil
greed is not human nature
original sin is a vicious lie.

Make a difference.
Think, read, tell the truth.
Treat faith as brain damage.

It could be a good chance for survival.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

the only truth I find in here jess
‘Write poetry?
Oh please, you'll be forgotten in five minutes’

The rest is either ‘teachy’, or takes off as a vacuous rant.

I have faith in me… some faith is beneficial, one shouldn’t be encouraged to treat it as ‘brain damage’
lol – I know you were talking about blind religious faith, but it reads as it reads as it reads…

typo sancrosanct (sacrosanct)

I would seriously cull this if I was allowed to

Death by uselessness.

Immortality is a farce.
original sin is a vicious lie.
Who said human life is sacrosanct?
Who said that?
Some religious freak?

we don’t kill,
but that is pragmatic,
we avoid punishment.

What do we do?
Reproduce?
We’ll be forgotten in three generations.

Write poetry?
Oh please, we'll be forgotten in five minutes.

Want to make a difference?
Think, read
Spread memes,

tell truths

love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

Just felt like saying it.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

well i reckon it still sounds better the way i said it
xxxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

but it's just something that spilled out and I don't feel like working on it.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

I was thinking of you, and your trial by fire, so I stopped by. It is good to see you writing. I would call this a poetic rant, not just a rant. I have to agree with most of it, except for the kind of faith that Judy pointed out. I liked these lines best:

Make a difference.
Think, read, tell the truth.
Treat faith as brain damage.

It could be a good chance for survival.

but I would have said: Treat religion as brain damage.

love, Cat (& all)

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

As much as I detest the stupid, abusive, execrable Ayn Rand, the one thing she said that rings true to me is "faith is not a short-cut to knowledge, it is a short-circuit in the brain"
Faith is a problem as much as organised religion. It is just stupid. It can be seen in the light of the psychological definition of delusion "that which is obviously true to an individual or group, despite all the facts"

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

The more I read the more I found an appreciation of what this piece meant from my stand point.I rant alot in my poetry but the truth behind the statements you were making were real insightful.This was the first time I've read one of your poems and I'm planning on reading more.You are who you are

Peace

as I've been getting more feedback on this one I'm considering coming back to revise it to higher prosodic values.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

There you go again falling off your toadstool, ranting away with the true thoughts thinly disguised..
If I could remember what you said as it's been over five minutes since I read something distracting by someone I knew.
Ha, attack on the faiths, yes that's you, and the little rant about morons reproducing, Totally agree with you, but they have got rid of selection of the best now Hitler is dead, (though his ways were corrupt as usual) and we haven't evolved, as I say since we first recognised ourselves in a reflection.
I then thought that your higher prosodic values was a complete typo of Higher Pro Sod It Values, where you would be better asking the lady on the corner for her idea on a better mankind.
Give over, your rant is grand and a bit tame for you..
It would be good to have a truth corner where for once we spoke a few selected words on how we interpreted life as we live it, and how we really felt about things, most of us lie through our teeth at most things, Maybe poetry is one of those places where truth of feelings though disguised shows what we really think, therefore Are,
Yours Ian.T

PS:- maybe you could have life membership with these people LOL...
http://grumpy-people.com/index.php

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

If I am the Shark your are the Heart of Neopoet.

Yey I refuse to define myself as a curmudgeon. Just say my truth with better or worse prosodic value.

But it is easier for me, I can write crap or well defined prosody in any form, I've done the hard learning work for over 40 years. So I can forgive myself crap.

For others, well, I won't name names but someone sent me a PM recently saying how do I write as well as you as you do? It is so hard! I want to give up.

Well listen, little fuckers, I have worked hard most of my life to become moderately good at the world's most demanding artform, poetry. If you won't work at it, read it, critique it, engage your soul with it, fuck off out of it because you will never become even adequate.

Except for some natural geniuses, and on Neopoet I could only name Esker and Lonnie.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

Keep it coming the truth will out, and so will the poet. Regards Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

sorry I haven't been reading and replying lately, been in a bad, bad place.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

How are you? I am worried.

always, Cat & all

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

remember my old tag line?
"The nature of Jess is irrepressible"

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

We so look forward to suffering your scorn again lol.
Great to know that you are returning from your holiday, did you buy me a present or will it be the same old same old,,
Take care out there young man, Yours Ian.T
.
PS:- irrepressible
adj
not capable of being repressed, controlled, or restrained

I go along with that, yours Sparrow

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Jess, really good piece of writing! Reminded me of George Carlin! Final verse is spot on!

Namaste,

LG

_________________________________________
"Death" is nonsense: what is there to die?
"Life"? How could " life" "die"? That is a contradiction
in terms. Can "light" become "darkness"?
"Light" can only cease to be apparent

Wei Wu Wei

That is fucking high praise indeed! Thank you my friend!

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

i agree with some of this except the religious part as you already know that. i do agree with the treating religion as brain damage. the religion we face on a global scale makes people do crazy things in its name of religion.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

Ba

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

I should maybe have blogged this.

But then again maybe I'll come back to it one day and re-write it with some of Judyanne's suggestions... yeah and maybe even some rhyme.

We could argue about the logic but I suspect it's more a matter of opinion.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

your ideas are not illogical, they are fucking dumb and not thought out. You never, ever say anything worth saying in your poetry.

You are just cute and colloquial.

A worthless poet.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

sometimes.
But if by 'green' you mean jealous or naive, then you are really wrong, my friend.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

‘Write poetry?
Oh please,
you'll be forgotten
in fivexxxxxxnth tri-millions minutes’
Jess you shall never be forgotten
for good or bad

and
the third generation is too far away
kids don't recall their biological pops today

loved

really.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

do you know
I was a kid school captain
and fell out with my games teacher ..
But when he left for home
we gave him a clock
and
he wept seeing it.

Times change we also do
we love those who are harsh yes,
but with meaning too
and
you are such a one
I wanted the world to know
you, are a loved
one...
from Loved

loved

be our weakness in our heel or our brain

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

I would have said the last two lines were the best a few days ago; however one of the Zionists in one of my peace groups sent me a email (we had been conversing via email, trying to build bridges) ended the email with *have Faith*. There was nothing else he could have said that would have mattered to me.

So I say to you my dearest trickster, "have faith". Love, imo, is greatly significant.

~A

As much as I detest the stupid, abusive, execrable Ayn Rand, the one thing she said that rings true to me is "faith is not a short-cut to knowledge, it is a short-circuit in the brain"
Faith is a problem as much as organised religion. It is just stupid. It can be seen in the light of the psychological definition of delusion "that which is obviously true to an individual or group, despite all the facts"

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

I will come back to it. Though sorely tempted to use Judyanne's suggestions verbatim and call it a co-write, I feel it leaves something important out.

I'll be back [mya ah aaah!]

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.