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pot plants

`

hapless indulgences
animated silences
quiver

hankered imagination
ambiguous synapses
quibble

each way you turn
each thought you churn
new lessons learn

potted flower plants
line your driveway
mind you don't crush them

`

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words: 
Another short poem with an admixture of rhymes and non-rhymes, hopefully blended together tastefully and effectively. It's title too may help stimulate the reader's mind on what approach to take its reading. Have fun!
Editing stage: 

Comments

the driveway may be too narrow

at times potted plants walk away

if long legs have they

you come once in a way

where are the potted plants

anyway!!!

loved

Sometimes the legs that they seem to have grown
are those of deft little hands that take for their own
what is in fact someone else's hard earned garden!

__________________________________________________
'write on! let these words free.'

author comment

CB,

your writing does intrigue me. I find your words can send the reader in different directions allowing us to have our own meaning of the poem.

I really liked the last line word at the end of stanza's one and two...i would have liked you to have done that for the next two stanza's, but that's just my OCD and the need for uniformity.

The awkward rhyming worked really well too.

My only problem with this piece, is it is about 6 stanza's too short...I could have read this piece for ages.

regards,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

Especially coming from one so well grounded in the art of lyric writing.
It is not everyday that lyricists come by my type of poetry,
let alone for them to appreciate these little 'gems' (as I might refer to them).

Allowing the reader the room to travel alongside the poem
in their own milieu both internal and external is one of the main pillars of my poetical philosophy.

I am truly glad that this has come across with such clarity.
I will endeavour to one of these days provide you with a more structured metre and rhyme.
Add to that a promise to post one up with sufficient length to suit! Cheers, CB

__________________________________________________
'write on! let these words free.'

author comment

certainly stimulated my thoughts. I reread this, after a little stimulation to the brain cells, and lo and behold !
It all made perfect sense! LOL. I was intriqued by the style, and think you did a really fine job of blending everything together. ~ Geezer

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

That was mighty kind of you to say so and equally kind to relay to me your journey with my little poem. I am so glad that it was pleasantly intriguing to you. Many thanks for your support and feedback. Cheers, CB

__________________________________________________
'write on! let these words free.'

author comment
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