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LONG LOST FRIEND PROSE TO POEM FINAL EDIT(i think)

Return to me, oh silent one,
dear friend of yester-year
Proclaim in me
of what you see
and all we've learned to fear

Originally legitimated reasons
of concern
quickly turn into more profound statements
of deterioration learned

Mental stability needs constant repair
causes of disappearing
and fearing
now finally shared

Anorexic indignations self-induced by lack of conformity
in societies "reality"
lead to harsh realisms of seriousness
in situations created out of fearless-ness

Life-long beginnings of Walker and Jack secured
Capricious wanderings engaging but never indured
Solidly strong with stability driven tendencies
Prone to involvement in Yukon's co-dependency

Being to no avail, taking wind from the sail
a call gone due to untimely inspection
twenty years
still lost in the collection

When finally the day has come back around
Yukon was found in another town
due to be reunited soon
Hopefully all is not ruined on the boob tube

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Rush was put to this due to personal reasons an hope everyone enjoys i kno i had fun w this
Editing stage: 

Comments

to a really great transition
however, i do find the some rhymed stanzas along with others not rhymed a little awkward to read ... made me lose my concentration
- lol - not for you to worry about though - it doesn't take much for that to happen :)

i like
'Life-long beginnings of Walker and Jack secured
Capricious wanderings engaging but never indured
Solidly strong with stability driven tendencies
Prone to involvement in Yukon's co-dependency' - lol

but 'indure / indured' - do you mean 'endure/ endured' ?

congratulations on all the work you have put into this
love judy

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

It's certain that none can accuse you of not putting in a lot of work in this shop lol. I'm not certain but I think the last line references a future made for TV moving about the protagonists and such a thought is pretty original.........stan

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