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Sound Vision...
Sound vision…
I stared in stereo,
listened in colour
You were speaking,
that little smile was
playing at the extremities
of your lips.
I felt myself
content,
That long ago evening
we both knew…
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
Her lips still fascinate as they curl..
Editing stage:
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Comments
weirdelf
Tue, 2011-10-04 22:49
it's called Synesthesia
when one sense is perceived as another. Alternative title?
haunting little piece, very effective.
oh, yes, her upper lip was almost prehensile and translucent, different woman I imagine [smiles wistfully]
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Roscoe Lane
Fri, 2012-04-06 07:19
Thank you,
Thank you Jess, and forgive me as I have just came across this poem and your comments. Regards Roscoe...
Roscoe Llane,
Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.
scribbler
Fri, 2012-04-06 08:08
Hey Roscoe
One of the better short free verse I've read lately, but then again what does an old rhymer like me know about free verse? lol..........stan
Roscoe Lane
Sat, 2012-04-07 05:25
Thank you,
Thank you Stan, your comments are always welcomed. You may regard yourself as an old rhymer, but when i see how you help others here at neopoet, i would say you are a poet's poet. I think i know what i mean, lol. Regards Roscoe...
Roscoe Llane,
Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.
scribbler
Sat, 2012-04-07 09:59
lol
I see typos also plague You as poet's poot came out poet's poet lmao.............stan
judyanne
Fri, 2012-04-06 14:36
roscoe this is just so awesome
i have nothing more to say to you because i want to read it again...
.... it is just so... so ..
as i read it the world fogs for me too
- that total feeling of awareness focusing into a central point ....
.... oh roscoe will you please go away - i have nothing more to say - i want you to leave now so i can go back and read it over and over again....
lol - oh by the way, did i say?
i really like this
love judy.
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
Roscoe Lane
Sat, 2012-04-07 05:29
Thank you,
Thank you Judy, glad you enjoyed my little poem. lol. Love Roscoe...
Roscoe Llane,
Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.
loved
Sat, 2012-04-07 11:18
thank you
Roscoe
thank you
loved