Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Sound Vision...

Sound vision…

I stared in stereo,

listened in colour

You were speaking,

that little smile was

playing at the extremities

of your lips.

I felt myself

content,

That long ago evening

we both knew…

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Her lips still fascinate as they curl..
Editing stage: 

Comments

when one sense is perceived as another. Alternative title?

haunting little piece, very effective.

oh, yes, her upper lip was almost prehensile and translucent, different woman I imagine [smiles wistfully]

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Thank you Jess, and forgive me as I have just came across this poem and your comments. Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

One of the better short free verse I've read lately, but then again what does an old rhymer like me know about free verse? lol..........stan

Thank you Stan, your comments are always welcomed. You may regard yourself as an old rhymer, but when i see how you help others here at neopoet, i would say you are a poet's poet. I think i know what i mean, lol. Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

I see typos also plague You as poet's poot came out poet's poet lmao.............stan

i have nothing more to say to you because i want to read it again...
.... it is just so... so ..

as i read it the world fogs for me too
- that total feeling of awareness focusing into a central point ....

.... oh roscoe will you please go away - i have nothing more to say - i want you to leave now so i can go back and read it over and over again....

lol - oh by the way, did i say?
i really like this

love judy.

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

Thank you Judy, glad you enjoyed my little poem. lol. Love Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

Roscoe
thank you

loved

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.