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sound of Solace

Submitted by Apostolos "Paul... on Thu, 2011-12-29 16:56

To you in the back of the room
Who accepted insults
Like insulin
To a diabetic

A pair of headphones
Silences taunting voices

Sitting in the last row
Watching as cliques
Try to ostracize you
For not converting
To their ideologies

The lyrics to some rap song
Playing on repeat
Became a sound of solace

You just want to paint
the boring lecture hall
With true colors
Rather than the epidemic
Of superficiality

That voice in your head
Is no longer eminem
No now it’s you
Taking off the camouflage
Of silence
And screaming
‘till stupidity goes
Deaf

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

emogothgirl

Thu, 2011-12-29 17:09

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i love how the outcast stands up in the end when he's looked down on in the beginning. bravo!

infinite_dwarf

Thu, 2011-12-29 18:06

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As stated in our conversation last night - I can't fairly critique this one, as it hits way too close to home. However, as I mentioned, I do like the energy and flow which grabs the reader, and carries it through to the end. Good, solid closing - and you've stepped away from the cliches!

weirdelf

Thu, 2011-12-29 21:36

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I love that you are getting so more raw.
Even rawer would be more to my taste.
"Tellem fuckem, nah fuckem, tellem nothing" Jess
suggestions I've already made to you. Especially
Try to ostracize you
ostracize you
The lyrics to some rap song
lyrics to rap songs

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

the_fool

Fri, 2011-12-30 20:17

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with some previous comments- this is a great piece.
however, dound the title a little cliche- maybe incorporating from the first S-
'back row insults', or 'insulting the back row'?
change or not, keep thse comin'

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