Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Church Organ
Blaring noises ring
Causing a fantastic dance.
For it's a great king.
Style / type:
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
A little poke at Haiku! :)
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
wesley snow
Fri, 2011-12-23 12:08
I always have a tough time with haiku.
I need fifty lines just get speed up. I will say this though, I was able to see multiple perspectives in this. I think (?) that's an indication of a successful haiku. I saw it from a humorous direction and could turn around and see a serious. Curious. wesley
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
weirdelf
Fri, 2011-12-23 12:14
a rhyming haiku!
very unusual and very effective. A poke it may be, but it works.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry