There is this rage that dwells inside of me,
clawing me, stabbing me, threatening to
rip me open and make me bleed my red anger out.
I try so hard to fight it and I work so hard to
deny it, but too often it rears its monster
head and makes my tongue lash out.
I strike with poisonous words and cut with
razor lips, spilling tears and breaking trust.
I didn’t realize being nice would be this tough.

There is a river deep inside me, salty & clear,
gently carving out my heart & soul.
Sometimes it’s perfect and I forget it’s there,
but then the floods come and the river over flows.
No more hiding inside of me, it demands to be unleashed,
it streams from misfit eyes and winds down the imperfect terrain of my cheeks.
I try to stop it, I try to dam it up, but it defies my fateful pride
and continues to drag me in its currents and put me in a more humble place
—one not so high up.

There is a darkness that surrounds me,
swirling and twisting all around me.
I thought I’d left it back in youth, with my
Barbie dolls, Pokémon cards and temper tantrums,
but it seems to have found its way back to me
and my “artistic” angst. I’ve tried to beat it off
and tear it from my skin…but I’ve recently realized
this darkness is spinning out of me from deep within.
I am a tornado, a torrential rain, a deadly hurricane.
I destroy my own happiness and create my own fears.
I’m terrified of escaping this box of pain and resentment
that I have been building for too many years.
I thought if I built it out of bricks and locked myself in
that life couldn’t huff and puff and force me to live again.

(And still, despite all of this…)

There is a light that shines right out of me,
from me eyes, my lips, my heart, my soul.
I reach to wrap its warmth around the world
and heal the dying hope.
The mirror distorts the images
and the human mind tells the heart logical lies,
hypocrisy runs rampant and there are too many people
who think they can’t survive.
I see the pain, I see the hate,
I see the wrongs and all the fateful mistakes.
But I see the love, I see the care.
I see the chances for this world,
And so the human imperfections simply don’t compare.