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Bewitching Smile

A fact of life,
A guy exists only,
Because girls do
They take his tension away
In many more, than one way

Her smile makes him feel invited,
Her glances make one feel attractive
And whatever they do,
As you smack your lips,
it stands, awaiting your rescue.

That’s why all guys
To gals say, I love you.
She strokes her hair
and indicates, shall do
Whatever you want to

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

I like this very much in it's structure, But for me there is a sense of ownership between them. a kind of dangerous letting go of yourself to please another.
perticularly this stanza:

"That’s why all guys
To gals say, I love you.
She strokes her hair
and indicates shall do
Whatever you want to"

I just don't think women are like that any more, But that's just me.
This is your perspective, and indeed well done.
I believe since I've been gone you have changed your style of writing and I like it a lot.

Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

... I think you're missing "she".
The poem is "bewitching" (sorry, I had to).
The first three lines I think describe the situation precisely.
istan

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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to avoid a twitch
and a second one ,she ,
single should now do...
hopefully...

loved

author comment

Nice poem, although I think the rhyme bogs it down a little. Maybe try with the rhyme?

Good work!

poet that's me...
what comes to my mind
i compose
critiques help garbage or poetryfy it more
your wish
read help or GARBAGE IT

loved

author comment
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