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Sacred Time
Time has kissed me,
rich in life unlooked-for,
cut free from pains
of strangled futures
I would have never had
until we met.
Time has bound me,
ties of intimacy,
sex and lust,
bonds of passion and desire,
chains of care
and aching wonder
on sleepless nights
spent asking why
of all endless choice
you could have made,
I was your's.
Time will rob me,
speeding ever faster
to the entropy I
will ultimately endure
in the certain bitterness
that one lifetime's
not enough to spend
in what we've made
and share.
Time has filled me,
brimmed with children,
with sacred future,
and the eagerness
for my touch
that made them our's,
our pleasure and delight
in making them
still leaving me breathless,
and content.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Author information
Region & Country
Earth Vicinity (within a five light-year radius)
Favorite Poets
John Donne, T.S. Eliot, Serendipity, Emily Dickenson, Kailashana, Charles Bukowski, Kabir, Rett, Dalton, W. B. Yeats, William Blake, Rainer Maria Rilke, and many other Neopoet poets; Neopoet has heavily influenced my poetry and my ability to write it well.
Comments
weirdelf
Sun, 2011-11-27 07:09
Fuck you Jim!
This is the kind of poem that from sheer content value I would disregard or slam. But of course I started to read the words.
"Every correct word in its correct place" (Coleridge, I think)
It drew me in and made me feel things I did and did definitlely not want to feel.
I can only describe this as a completely successful poem,
you bastard,
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Race_9togo
Sun, 2011-11-27 10:13
LMFAO
Anybody but you, and we'd be fighting tooth and nail!
Glad you enjoyed, you sum bitch!
But seriously, thanks my friend, it means a lot, when my poetry has such an effect.
And I must add that I found it a bit disquieting too, when I read it again, after absorbing your comment.
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
author commentscribbler
Sun, 2011-11-27 19:36
hi Jim
I really like the comparisons of what one gains and surrenders in loving. I am no punctuation cop but do think in this instance a few periods and capitals would better define the different thoughts in this............stan
Race_9togo
Mon, 2011-11-28 15:37
Hey Stan,
Good to see you back.
I know what you mean about the punctuation, I was a bit rushed putting this one up, so I'll do it.
Thanks
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
author commentthe_fool
Sun, 2011-11-27 21:26
very beautiful. i liked it!
very beautiful. i liked it!
Race_9togo
Mon, 2011-11-28 15:38
Thank you,
I am glad that you liked it so much.
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
author commentemogothgirl
Tue, 2011-11-29 19:49
well done
on the first read i was a little confused around the middle, but with a little digging i got it. just shows my lack of depth when reading off of computer screens. :) i definitely like the theme and use of personification; very well written.
-maggie
Race_9togo
Thu, 2011-12-01 10:55
Thanks Maggie
I know what you mean, I always enjoy a poem that I have to sit back and really get into, it makes me think, and work, and I love it.
Glad that you liked this one, thanks again.
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
author commentweirdelf
Thu, 2011-12-01 11:06
Totally relate,
in my early days on Neopoet I killed several trees and paid a lot in ink to be able to read the poems from a paper page. It is a learned transition. But would still always prefer a paper page.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry