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Southern Breezes--updated
SOUTHERN BREEZES
southern charm and southern comfort
southern breezes and southern spices
scorching days and sultry waves
of cotton dresses
satin sheets in perfumed nights
passion’s fire seething into daylight.
Editing stage:
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Comments
wesley snow
Mon, 2011-11-28 22:36
Interesting imagery.
This is a style of poetry I have never been able to produce. The sort of "travelogue" poem of simply stated imagery of a locale or person. You do it well.
wesley
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
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Geremia
Tue, 2011-11-29 02:11
You can do just as well.
You can do just as well. Google the term EKPHRASIS IN POETRY--there's your answer.You have great command of language.
Thanks,
Joe
wesley snow
Tue, 2011-11-29 13:16
A NEW WORD!
Thank you Joe. I'm off. wesley
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
Geremia
Tue, 2011-11-29 03:57
I am always sohappy to see y
I am always sohappy to see y,ou Ian. Been ckose to my end twice this past month but am managing qujte well now.
"southern comfort" is a play on words--it is also the name of a whiskey.
Geremia
Wed, 2011-11-30 05:58
Thank you, Ian. Would like to
Thank you, Ian. Would like to hear from someone I know.
joe
weirdelf
Tue, 2011-11-29 06:47
Powerfully evocative of a place and time I've never known,
that's good poetry.
This is going to sound niggly. but I want some 's' sounds in the last line. More in the way of assonance than alliteration. It would prosodically enhance the poem, I believe.
maybe something like
passion’s fire searing till sunlight.
or
sensuality bright sustained till sunlight.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Geremia
Tue, 2011-11-29 06:54
Will do.
Will do.
weirdelf
Tue, 2011-11-29 07:40
I'm honoured you took and improved on my suggestion.
Does it feel better to you too?
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Geremia
Tue, 2011-11-29 07:56
Oh, yes, Very much. Thanks.
Oh, yes, Very much. Thanks.
Joe
weirdelf
Tue, 2011-11-29 08:02
The poem now to me has a sense of the sussuration of
The poem now to me has a sense of the sussuration of Southern breezes heating up to a congruent yet impacting ending.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Geremia
Tue, 2011-11-29 09:18
Yup. Now.ya'll come and visit
Yup. Now.ya'll come and visit some time, hear now? [typical Southern, "cheers."]
joe
weirdelf
Tue, 2011-11-29 10:15
would any of those gorgeous Southern belles
have anything to do with an ugly old cantankerous poet like me?
I suspect not, and will live with your poetry instead.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Geremia
Tue, 2011-11-29 10:22
Don't underestimate yourself.
Don't underestimate yourself. :)
Joe
Rhiannon1010
Tue, 2011-11-29 14:08
i live in the south.
all be it, the appalachians, and I feel you captured the "down home" ole timey feeling quite well.
Geremia
Tue, 2011-11-29 15:29
Thank you. I remember the
Thank you. I remember the South in the Jacksonville of the 40's. {See BLACK WIDOW - true story]. I miss it.
Joe
Kailashana2
Wed, 2011-11-30 06:39
Nice collaboration Joe & Jess
Nice collaboration Joe & Jess.
South & North, interesting the divesting of principles, the South with it's facade of *gentility* and the North with its prevailing explosion of *myths*.
However, I like your poem, Joe. To hold someone in love, anywhere......
~Anna
Geremia
Wed, 2011-11-30 06:53
Right on target, my Anna.
Right on target, my Anna.