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On Lethe's Shore--re-write
ON LETHE'S SHORE
[alzheimer's]
Before they cross the river Styx
they drink of Lethe’s waters clear
to forget what remembering is.
it was from a distant shore
I saw you linger there
and when you took of the magic
you turned and looked
but didn't see me anymore
Editing stage:
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Comments
wesley snow
Wed, 2011-11-23 21:15
Other than...
...my usual gripe about punctuation, I can't offer a single constructive suggestion concerning this poem. It is sudden, real and brutally poignant. wesley
W. H. Snow
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Geremia
Thu, 2011-11-24 03:16
Thanks. I need to remember
Thanks. I need to remember about punctuation.
The Greek myth was the metaphor I needed.
Joe
author commentweirdelf
Thu, 2011-11-24 22:20
Joe, I hate this poem.
Some things like Alzheimers are not dealt with by mythological allusions. They are the the very real pain of here and now.
cheers,
Jess
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Geremia
Fri, 2011-11-25 08:51
Jess, my mother died of
Jess, my mother died of Prkinsonan demetia..You don't need to tell me, I took care of her at home where she died with me by her side. I saw her in hell, and I wasn't far behind.I, too, fear it, There s a deep sadness in this Greek myrh
Need to follow your own rules: Critique form, not content.
Best to you, my friend
Joe
author commentGeremia
Fri, 2011-11-25 09:16
P.S. Jess
You pushed the wrong button with me, Jess. This is how I sublimate the unspeakable--things I won't even share with my sister or brother. We all need to face our demons in our own way. I haven't seen any true emotional content in your poetry yet.
Best
Joe
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