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DUALITY

In the progress of our works
We see the hands that create
Building structures for our use
Imagine the Sole creating force
That made all with you and me

As we wonder in awe
From grief of unwanted losses
Imagine phantom hues of decay
The might of destroying waves
That takes unwarily from us

These hands are right and left
Connected to one and the same
The twins we wrongly interpret
Be it birth or death combined
In rebirth, according to the law

Depths below and heights above
Infinite in mode and expression
Bring the balance to life everlasting
On the duality of our Indivisible God
The Great Architect of the universe

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

This went right over my head. The language is exemplary, but try as I might I am unable to precisely grasp the nature of the duality expressed in the title. I'm confident I'm looking straight at it and not understanding, but to be honest I cannot see it. wesley

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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May be the piece is not clear in its message. The subject matter takes on the universe as one entity having opposites in its material expression - day and night, man and woman, positive and negative, physical and spiritual, up and down. It goes on and on. One does not exist without the other, they combine to make a whole. God or what ever name is used to represent Him is measured with the universe and every other thing is a component divided into two halves. I am not sure if this makes sense. Thank you for the comments and best wishes

tr

A rekindled faith - Dancing in the Light

author comment

and I can see much of it realized in the poem on another read. However, too much of the poem addresses the idea a bit too esoterically for me to grok. The language is excellent, but clarity suffered for the beauty of the words. Wish I had something more concrete to offer. wesley

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
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and best wishes

tr

A rekindled faith - Dancing in the Light

author comment

Which are not understood,
By normal human beings
Readers take a life time,
Trying to solve the puzzle,
What did the poet really mean?

A sudden spurt of ideas ensues
And
Critiques earn their dues,
Trying to resolve
And
Take credit,
For what little they themselves know

Thank God in their time,
There was no computer nor telephone,
An instant cell, to question…
So they were saved all the embarrassment,
Which is our lot today,
As we have to explain,
The abstractness,
We so ingeniously display.

loved

I may say the piece you posted is beautiful and answers for the inadequacy of my scribbles, Thank you for the comments and best wishes.

tr

A rekindled faith - Dancing in the Light

author comment

was an unintended criticism ,
meta as you put it ...
I only wanted to narrate the facts of
today's criticism and critiques....

Sorry for my voice ,
Trying to point out any inadequacy ,
as I take each piece,
as a creative art,
which needs to be cherished as such,
Thanks anyway

loved

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