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Stuck
wandering lost and cold
I came upon a celler door
I broke the lock
feeling no shame
there, shelves stocked with food
a cot in the corner
and a colorful blanket
were they expecting me?
full bellied
wrapped in warmth
I laid down
and wept at my shameless ways
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
Candlewitch
Fri, 2011-11-18 11:10
Hello,
This puts a whole new spin on the poor homeless situation. I really liked this piece.
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
brittle light
Mon, 2011-11-21 17:39
hello Cat
Again, I thank you for your response, and time.
sincerely,
Al
author commentGeezer
Mon, 2011-11-21 19:16
Without getting...
into the capitalization thing, I really liked this one. I wouldn't know how to change one line, without ruining the poem as a whole. Great work! ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
brittle light
Tue, 2011-11-22 11:18
capitalization thing? is
capitalization thing? is that a feduciary question , or one of writing form? Just wondering!
Anyway, either way, thank you for your gracious remarks and your time. much appreciated.
Al
author comment