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XENOPHOBIC
Xeno: I was never phobic
Foreigner, Stranger, Guest.
Of your long, inquisitive forays
into yet, another conquest
I was laid open
My heart that hearth of rest
Although my reason hunted you down
I was there, at your bequest.
I will plead for you in the jester's court
although there's nothing I can do.
Abrogate seared scraps of love
or cherish every last inch of you
until DNA traces you
to scarred city, dead next of kin
this door is open -
stay out if you mistrust these words
or come back, however briefly, in.
20 NOV. '11
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
this is a second attempt at posting and getting a response. I thought perhaps it is a little too obtuse, but we shall see...
thanks
Bj
Editing stage:
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Comments
Candlewitch
Sun, 2011-11-20 12:27
Hello Lady,
Very interesting indepth poem and I like the title, too. Makes me want to scrutinize all my relationships, LOL!
I will plead for you in the jester's court
although there's nothing I can do.
Abrogate seared scraps of love
or cherish every last inch of you
Loved these lines!
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Bonitaj
Sun, 2011-11-20 12:49
oh Cat!
So nice of you to stop by with your intuitive eye! ;) good to catch up again!
Boni
Bonitaj
Race_9togo
Sun, 2011-11-20 21:08
Hello Bonitaj,
I have read this four times now (so far) and each time I get more from it.
I really don't have a critique, except that Xenophobic doesn't carry the same meaning for you as it does for me, I think, but that's a minor thing; I love the wistful sadness you have here, the frustration I feel in the words, and the acceptance.
Excellent poem, bookmarked.
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
Bonitaj
Mon, 2011-11-21 01:01
THank you Jim!
I am so glad you could recognise some of my intent, as is displayed in your critique. I know what you mean by the title, but there is a two-fold reason for it!
a) It was initially entitiled ALBEIT, but that might have thrown some
b) esp. since the opening line doesn't make much sense separated.
Colloquially speaking, I have interpreted Xenophobia, as a fear of strangers, immigrants, or foreigners. Hope that will suffice.
Many thanks for your uplifting commentary!
Bonitaj