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Liquid Desire
pink and crimson
are your sighs and moans
submerging in the splendor of white
in a rainbow arch you rise to steal
the riot of colors with a squeal
raj (sublime_ocean)
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Editing stage:
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Comments
raj
Fri, 2011-11-11 22:47
Hi Rosina
thank you for the read and your comment..i hope it was effective in as much as reminiscing with a smile...:)
much love..
raj (sublime_ocean)
Race_9togo
Thu, 2011-11-10 03:23
Raj
Now I know why you are also called sublime_ocean.
How beautiful this is, in the moment of its capture, and the way the reach of soaring pleasure starts physical, rises into delight, and then is brought back into the flesh, at the ending.
Sublime, my friend
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
raj
Sat, 2011-11-12 13:43
Hi Jim
like Rosina..you too captured the essence of this write perfectly....thanks for the read and your encouraging comment...
raj (sublime_ocean)
loved
Thu, 2011-11-10 15:13
Delightfully
Orgasmic feeling
And
The culmination of the eruption
And
Anointment,
In the milk divine
A sealing of human ecstasy
Soaring as it collapses
loved
raj
Sun, 2011-11-13 05:08
Thank you Loved for the read
Thank you Loved for the read and your delightful comment...
raj (sublime_ocean)
loved
Sun, 2011-11-13 05:21
Friend Raj
ur wonderful...
i have just converted this piece as
Ecstasy
u may read
as it is inspired by
uuuuuuuuuuuuu
thanks
loved
raj
Sun, 2011-11-13 05:25
Oh Ok...i will surely read it
Oh Ok...i will surely read it..nice to know you found this write inspiring..
raj (sublime_ocean)
loved
Sun, 2011-11-13 12:56
UR
not only sublime
but as you say an ocean
and i now know when ............
loved
Candlewitch
Sat, 2011-11-19 07:47
Dear Raj,
sweetly erotic, not brash. Takes me to nice dreamy places. You take my breath away with this piece.
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
raj
Sat, 2011-11-19 13:56
Dear Cat
thank you for your time and visit to this write...good to know from your comment that you found it effective...means a lot to receive such encouraging comment from the likes of you...
much love..
raj (sublime_ocean)
Rainy Day
Sat, 2012-04-07 00:43
Perfect Explaination
Perfect words to explain something which leaves us speechless. I loved your use of color. Beautiful.
raj
Tue, 2012-04-17 14:57
Thank you for the read and
Thank you for the read and your comment....it feels good when the reader partakes in the essence of what i try to express through the lines...
raj (sublime_ocean)
raj
Sun, 2012-04-15 07:12
thank you for the read and
thank you for the read and your appreciative comments..
raj (sublime_ocean)
judyanne
Sun, 2012-04-15 08:59
clever use of colour visuals raj
i really like this little write
so gentle and you can feel the love (or lust lol)
nothing to crit
hugs
judy
xxxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
raj
Tue, 2012-04-17 15:00
Hi Judyanne
good to see you and thank you\ for your appreciation...your comment made me smile because you got it right.,...it is in fact a blend of both love n lust i had intended to convey through those colors.:)
much love n hugz...
raj (sublime_ocean)
scribbler
Sun, 2012-04-15 09:44
Hi raj!
I was beginning to think you'd dropped off the face of the earth lol. This is a really effective use of transposing imagery and also pleasant to read..............stan
raj
Tue, 2012-04-17 15:04
Hi Stan
it is always good to hear from your Stan and your humor ..i am still here on this planet so don't believe that i am ghost writing :lol...fun apart...thank you for your comment ..means a lot for an amateur like me...
raj (sublime_ocean)
mand
Sat, 2014-01-04 14:26
Hi Raj
I am a fan of your poetry! I love the skill you use - you are truly a word smith - you dig deep and your work is inspiring. You have a furtive imagination and use wonderful imagery.
Thank you for sharing you talent.
Love Mand xxxxx
raj
Sat, 2020-07-25 04:00
Hi Mand
I returned here few weeks back after a long spell of absence...just now noticed that I had not responded to your comment..good to know you liked this short write and it even created imagery for you..
would love to see you write again..
much love...
raj (sublime_ocean)