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The Feeling

Could you say
I fell forward
With caution thoughts,
Yet full weight ahead

Plummeting I hurt,
I lay alone
With wonders plaguing my mind

A what if
A maybe
A touch
A stare
A feeling

Repressible emotions
Are to blame;
I am to blame.

Could you say
The attachment I hold
Is but a self-induced curse,
I know it true

Could you say
I long for those moments

Would you say
That in the end you didn’t,
A fleeting feeling at most.

Would you say
Forget everything
I’m done.

You did.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
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i like the way you have constructed thus poem and I enjoyed the poem in general, but I would remove the word forwardly from the first Stanza as it Is a made up word and maybe simply replace it with forward.


Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

Thank you for the feedback, I will take the suggestion and change forwardly to forward. I'm glad you could enjoy my poem.

author comment

Thanks for the comment, I have taken Lou's suggestion and changed it to forward. I am glad that the end summed up my poem, I think that was one of my main turning points, admitting it to myself. Thanks again.

author comment

but this didn't have enough "form" (for lack of a better term) to hold me. I did however, like the ending. As you said, it rather summed the whole thing. Good content, just not enough "poesy" for my tastes. wesley

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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