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IS THIS LOVE?

You scribbled in bits and pieces
As parchments and on the scrolls
Of a heart so full of love
In this kind of affection
Some say, love is blind
So you stomached everything
All in the name of love

The innocent begs the guilty
For forgiveness from what I know not
I see disappointments, unrealized hopes
Tucked away in dreams of nothingness
While you danced with exhilaration
To the savage slavery flute of the piper

Having been in and out of hell
To pick a rose from strange Never land
Where emotions reigned high
And eclipsed the light of reason
On a battle ground so hard to define

The double-edged sword pierced deep
Into the budding rose of your heart
You speak of a vessel flowing with sweet fluid
Into another who knew not the pains it took to distil
The mature wine you brewed and couldn’t even taste

I ask for the sake of clarity, is this love?
Love suppose to be a two way thing
Between couples and amongst peoples
Yet I see a one way track running into self
Is love not longsuffering and does not envy

Love is not provoked and seeks not its own
Go to the one hundred and sixteenth sonnets
See the spear piercing a shaky heart
Learn the conditions and abide in faith
Hope that the Love you find will never fail

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

I owe what ever improvement to two great personalities on this site, I and J, they have been of immense help. thank you too for being there for me. I appreciate your comments and assistance. best wishes/

tr

A rekindled faith - Dancing in the Light

author comment

but we offer assistance to many. It is your talent and commitment that turns that assistance into improvement.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

talent and commitment on the part of the writer, encouragement from those who are true builders of committed aspirant. I have also come across those who see nothing good in my efforts. One wrote what I called epitaph, as if tr should pack and leave the site. I have witnessed a similar attack on others lately. They carry the word criticism too far. This made me to substitute this word with appreciation in dealing with a piece of work. best wishes.

tr

A rekindled faith - Dancing in the Light

author comment
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