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Gouging
Slicing at veins
Oozing life,
Distress.
Gouging emotion
Frenzied , insane
Pulping flesh
Rip eyes from the sockets
Scratch out the name
Unbearable to remain
A band of steel
Ratcheted around the heart muscle
Crushing existence
Raw, infinite power
Dicing into throw away chunks
Tearing biting stripping resolve
Editing stage:
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Comments
Geezer
Mon, 2011-10-31 10:57
Such a...
powerful piece! I felt the despair, the power of it! I'm not sure which side you were writing from, but I felt that it could be either. Nothing to criticize. Love ya, ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
lou
Mon, 2011-10-31 13:25
Gee
Thank you
Love Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
Candlewitch
Mon, 2011-10-31 11:32
Dear Lou,
Ouch! This one jumps off the page to take bite out of the reader. Very dynamic. I loved it all.
Love, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
lou
Mon, 2011-10-31 13:26
Cat
thank you so much.
Love Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
lou
Mon, 2011-10-31 17:28
Hi
It is about mental harm rather than physical, how we can torture ourselves.
glad you liked it
lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
emogothgirl
Wed, 2011-12-28 15:46
ow
my eyes hurt but great job.
lou
Fri, 2011-12-30 02:50
lol
thanks
lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!