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WHY MAN
Thinking people have asked
questions which perplexed
the mind of man on the nature of self
and of the universe in which it exists
Should a self-sufficient God
complete in Itself
create an imperfect earth
and place within it living things?
That would be so
if they were separate
Whereas we look for answers
for a purposeful cause
with limited senses
in mysticism, philosophy and religion
Man is, as far as we are aware
most developed in creative process
He alone writes his life
and assigns it dimensions
Man feels separated
Yet, not really so
Therefore, reconsider
God has no specific purpose,
No design for human beings
They are a part of His being
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
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Comments
weirdelf
Fri, 2011-10-28 05:20
An intelligent philosophy
and economically written with some lovely prosodic values, especially that first verse with its tight meter and assonance
and of [the] universe in which it exists
And man has a name for this philosophy- pantheism
cheers
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
t. reflexion
Sat, 2011-10-29 19:05
A reaction to what people say...
God wants or desires this, God needs that, God's wish and purpose for man, etc. I think these words, desire, want, need, wish and so on presuppose that there has a lack somewhere, an incompleteness of some sort, which can not be associated with a perfect God.. So, instead of looking for God's purpose for man, we should give our lives purpose and meaning. Thank you and best wishes.
tr
A rekindled faith - Dancing in the Light