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STORIES

I heard you say unpleasant things
About the old woman who lives alone
In the last hut on the way to the stream
You criticize what you know not
And wronged the aged and the weak
Be careful with what you say
Believe not all the stories you hear

You say she killed all her children
And ate the rest in her womb
Their innocent blood were spilled
The story of a witch goes around
She turns into altered birds of prey
Traverses the regular nightly flights
With flakes of fire in drapes and hues

Believe not all the stories you hear
Barren she may be, but her children
She ate not, others died of innate causes
Confuse not the scary sound of the owl
To mean a woman changing into a bird
Look at the reflecting eyes in the mirror
Night dreams break into hallucinating day

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Yes, you are right, this piece should have follow ups. I will make some effort in this direction. I also wrote a piece with the title 'Witchery', dealing with witch craft in general.

Thank you for your time on this piece and for the comments. I will visit your poetry site and give my feedback. Best wishes.

tr

A rekindled faith - Dancing in the Light

author comment

More real poetry without losing potent social content.

I applaude.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

It is your guidance and support that are immeasurable. Your encouraging words, honest comments and mentoring that keep me going. Thank you and best wishes.

tr

A rekindled faith - Dancing in the Light

author comment
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