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Felattitude

His grey eyes barely visible
in between green blades of grass

though crouched he stood
in readihood

his hunting skills first class.

~

The breeze was in his favor
plus, he was hidden in tall reed

an awkward stance
will eat circumstance

so his best is what he'll need

~

A polished element of surprise
and rehearsed moves he knows so well

he's honed each skill
with intent to kill

quietly longing for death's smell

~

All surrounding circumstances
fade clean away for each cat;

they couldn't care less
so what? If they make a mess

they practiced looking like they meant to do "that

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
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Editing stage: 

Comments

and a nice glimpse into felinity.

I think the ellipsis and inverted commas detract rather than add.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

those commas weren't necessary but inverted commas are these things " ". And they definitely disrupt the flow of the read.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

...didn't have the time to answer you. Here I thought I was being more clear.
doc.

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

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