Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Mission Alley

Submitted by Seren1 on Wed, 2011-10-12 10:38

On an overgrown path
along a road less travelled
hid the bearer of small eyes
peeking out into the light

huddled

a flicker of memory
casts a mantle over her eyes
the touch of a loving hand
her only dream or desire

terrified

she runs into the shadows
as fight or flight whispers
and paranoia kicks in
all in keeping her safe

trembling

I want to save them
all the children of the night
I want to show them love
and compassion and family

hope

My own children leave
with smiles on their dials
knowing that home
is only a phone call away

love

street walking a living
babies sell their innocence
for the price of a hit
and a nice warm bed

Belief

I walk into mission alley
fearful but resolute
of making a change
as a miracle still breathes

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Last few words:

I have gotten into a little bit of trouble with Hubby he hates me wandering round a strange city, especially at night, I thought I had seen it all ... I have seen only a minute part of what living on the streets is really like ... I gotta say the change in scenery has made for some different poetry for me ... I am still learning how to tell someone elses story ...

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Comments

Candlewitch

Wed, 2011-10-12 10:57

Dearest Jayne,

I like the poem and the style it was written in. But I have to warn you to be very careful. For not all these are benine, Some are preditors and would kill you for a dollar. Wonderful premise, though.

Belief

I walk into mission alley
fearful but resolute
of making a change
as a miracle still breathes

wonderful workm here.

Love, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Geezer

Wed, 2011-10-12 19:58

I guess I will...

sound like Snake too! There was a guy recently, that got sprayed and just kept on going, and managed to beat someone senseless! Ok, now that I've said that, I understand what you mean. I don't drive taxi at night anymore because I don't see that good at night, [street-signs and numbers], but I remember those children of the night. I see them during the day too! Some of them don't sleep much. I know that some of them have parents, but the parents don't care what the kids do, as long as it doesn't come back to them. I actually heard one woman say that if her son brought the Social Services in on her, she would beat the shit out of him! I felt like asking her; "How about staying home and keeping your kid off the streets lady?" There will always be people like that. Great poem and I like the new style. I like the statement of one word at the end of each verse. Giving the whole of the thing, after each thought. Nice!
Love and higgest bugs, ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Roscoe Lane

Sat, 2011-10-15 03:46

If only,

If only i and others had your courage ( and please tell Snake i don't encourage what you do but i do admire it. )As i was saying if only i and others had your courage, we maybe could save some of these innocents from harm. Sixth stanza second line, remove their and i feel it has more power.( babies sell innocence ) A great poem and story. Please be careful Love Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

Neopoet

Mission Alley