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Loup Garou Dan...

Standing in the alley, on three legs, one bended knee
Drunker than a skunk... trying to take a pee
His tail is sopping wet, his paws are damp and dewy
Dan's head is really pounding, he's feeling somewhat screwy

What the Hell is happening, how did he get this way?
He was attacked and got a bite, that's all that I can say
Dan woke up feeling fuzzy, a bit longer in the tooth
Feeling kinda randy, much like in his youth

Those ears detect the slightest sound, his nose is really keen
He's gotten all new teeth now, his smile is looking mean
The bald spot on his pate is covered once again
He rather likes this animal-look; something of the "swain"

Staggering to the shadows, Dan leans against a bench
Look, here comes a woman, a comely little wench
Her scent is most inviting, she moves with such a grace
And with all the rest of it, she's got a pretty face!

He hunches down and with delight, he watches her walk by
She waltzes down the pathway, under his watchful eye
He jumps out, tries to grab her, she gives a little shriek
But then she grins and says... "Best offer of the week"

I like your sleek and furry style; you know, the animal thing
But if we're gonna get it on, I need a diamond-ring
So now the lass is crying in the back of Peter's church
For old Loup Garou Sir Daniel... has left her in the lurch

He's got the fever now, he's not done playing yet
He's got himself vasectomied, just came back from the vet
I'm sure that it's just all a phase that he is going through
He needs to gain adjustment, to being Loup Garou

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Another poke at a good sport. He says I've got mine coming. I hope so, really like to see if he can give it back. ~ Gee
Editing stage: 

Comments

I love it almost as good as mine LOL!!! Damn those werewolves are Horny LMFAO!!

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

maybe that's what attracts me to them. ~ Gee

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author comment

to execute me in spectacular fashion. I just seem to have a penchant for humor and a play on words lately. Thank you, love and higgest bugs ~ Gee

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author comment

Ok, you bugger!...you have seriously bitten off more than you can chew.

I have sharpened my pencil...ready to scribble a poem response...or I may just poke you with the pencil in the eye!

I have been looking through the AEC files and can see we've never yet had an execution at Neopoet. I know when I put it to the vote that Lou, Cat & Richard will fully support the execution proposal.

I have started selling tickets for the event too and we are now fully booked!

Seriously, this is hilarious and my wife also read it and laughed so much she nearly peed!

Love the rhyming and my fav stanza has to be:

He's got the fever now, he's not done playing yet
He's got himself vasectomied, just came back from the vet
I'm sure that it's just all a phase that he is going through
He needs to gain adjustment, to being Loup Garou

regards,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

to be my favorite lines too! I'm glad your wife found this funny, and didn't take offense. I thought it pretty funny too. I can't wait for the great execution. I hope it is as great an event as it is promised. ~ Gee

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This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

be glad to. Then you can show all your friends what a bunch of screwy mates you have. LOL Of course you will have to show them the starting point of the whole thing. Yes, I believe you would, "Seren the Warrior Hanging Judge!" LOL I think you would have made a great executioner, you would've lopped off heads left and right! Always glad to give a laugh, Love and higgest bugs, ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

I support Dan all the way you are for the chop LMAO.

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

a headsman's axe or guilotine would be the way to go, but we'll see... ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

Gee,

I think you deserve a hug!!

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

all the hugs I can get. When you get to be my age, if you spend a lot of time hugging, that means you don't have to stand up by yourself so much, and with these tired old legs... ~ Love ya, ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

Gee

In his Birthday suit
And helmet on tight
He straddles the bike
Ready to take flight

With a twist of the throttle
And his wrists are strong!
The engine purrs into life
But riding naked is just wrong

The wind makes his nipples erect
His first erection in years
He leans into the first corner
Shifting up the gears

Overtakes the tractor
Grinning as he waves
Tiny manhood gently sways
His BO covered by his aftershave

Old ladies cower as he speeds on by
Buttocks clenched against the seat
He’s doing nearly 20 kph
Travelling down the red-lighted street

He spots his favourite good time girl
Monster Mellanie with huge boobs
He likes the breasts and her hairy arse
He tries to find Willy amongst the pubes

His little man don’t like the cold
But he reaches down to give it life
Come on fella don’t let me down
Wanna make that Mellanie my new wife

He forgets the road and mounts the curb
Hits a wall and slams to a stop
He thinks he’s ok, just a bruise here and there
But to his dismay he busted his cock!

He looks down at Willy and begins to cry
It wasn’t that big, and now it’s bent
He straightened it up but it just flopped
He was totally broken, even his arse had a dent

So Gee gave up riding and forgot Mellanie
He now sits at home nursing his dick
Bandages and stitches don’t help him at all
In his hand is his limp carrot stick

The morale of this story if there is one
Never ride your bike without clothes
Because you’re liable to bend and break
Anything you leave exposed

© 2011 hoodedstranger.com

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

that is fabulously rude and funny, you got the old guy back, dread to think what you would say about me.
LMAO!!!!

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

the O.G. back! I love it! Great lines are too many to mention. Oh ok, I'll mention some...

The wind makes his nipples erect
His first erection in years
He leans into the first corner
Shifting up the gears

Loved the whole thing though! ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

Gee,

glad you liked it - was fun to write.

cheers,

HS

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Workshops are now open:
http://new.neopoet.com/workshop/find
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

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