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Skeletal

Skeletal

Skeletal fingers
Clench around my emptiness
Forcing death’s embrace

My wretched life source
Diminishes in seconds
Exterminated

No life soul released
Existence as a lone ghost
In Purgatory

So, Heaven or Hell
Confess my sins or stay lost
Gates of Hell, open!

© 2011 hoodedstranger.com

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

this is quite unlike you to write a short poem in three line verses but very effective...

raj (sublime_ocean)

Raj,

as I wrote it, I soon realised by accident that they were almost haiku's, so I touched them up and made them into haiku's. I then wrote a lyric based on these verses. I decided to post these rather than the lyrics...for a change.

I may post the lyric at a later date.

Thanks for dropping by my friend,

regards,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

I like the short punchy verses, clear,concise and effective. In my view near perfect.

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

Lou,

I always intended these to be short and hopefully punchy, but not haiku's...but I am pleased with the result now.

Thanks,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

nice to see your departure from your preferred style...these are not only well constructed Haikus but they establish a good connection from one verse to the next...

raj (sublime_ocean)

raj,

I agree, it is refreshing to break from my preferred style...for a while anyway!

Glad you like them,

cheers,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

You are a master of words! Wonderful.

Much Love,
Elizabeth

Elizabeth,

I don't think I am a master, but I thank you kindly,

regards,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

Lon,

yes you did, many thanks again,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

I did !!!

thanks Dan, enjoyed.

Richard.

LOL!

I took them both...wow what a trip!

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment
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