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CATHODE

Submitted by Esker on Tue, 2011-10-04 12:51

mission meal
cupped in its styrofoam
is bright as seagulls
fast between the
towers glass

myopic hunger
like a yearning
like a cigarette
addictions yoke

Its all concrete baby
except where feilds
roam in empty lots
and chain link ghosts
full of candy wrappers
shopping store hosts
fluttering in their
cosmic flurry
while the thick
and real traffic scurries

I want to still the clamour
and taste the bittersweet
salt of your glamour
lets get high and watch
the light fall down
and the quickness of
night slip above us like
a tired satin shroud

stretch against the soft
and hollow ruin of our
broken love
our savaged hearts
and find our corner
of the pocket parks

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Esker

Tue, 2011-10-04 12:56

Esker's picture

scourged and soured
billow hope still tattered and ragged
my heart like a treasure
and you hold
so much

INTERCHANGE

i cant escape you
nor do I want too
our ghost treatise

this beautiful ruin
rain wracked
and faded

I can live here
I have stayed here

fates shall show us
the troubles of our
stays

and how my heart
shall wander astray
and dream you
in dreamtime

in longing
in majestic starvation
this emotional beast

(Your Wolf)

author comment

weirdelf

Thu, 2011-10-06 09:18

weirdelf's picture
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or another poem?
or a continuance?

Beware, my brother, of using Neopoet in a way that won't work for your poems outside Neopoet.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

weirdelf

Thu, 2011-10-06 10:30

weirdelf's picture
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that you are moving your craft in all sorts of new directions.

This ones has the stunning visuality of your early works with a strong flavour of personal feeling imbued. Superb poem.

Since you are experimenting with new forms why not try some of the workshops? I know the Meter workshop helped even those who thought they couldn't gain from it, pity you missed it but I'll be running another one soon. The next one will be on forms and variations of rhyme. If you feel you can't make a commitment to a full workshop then as long as you let me know you'd be very welcome to join on a casual basis.

except where feilds [fields]

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Esker

Thu, 2011-10-06 15:17

Esker's picture

I remember heavy construction what would work
what would fail under speed and load
the beauty of the ragged symetry of work
blueprints the skies of all seasons

I am trying different modes on Neo
and some work and some do not
but its a place to "form up" experimentations
that are never far from the ground

I wish I could write as greatly as some
of the more expressive peoples I encounter
in bookshop works
and television docs But they are the
true geniuses
and as I say Im just a "Hack"

Im so erratically on the computer these
days that I dont think I could fit into the
needed participation of the workshops
Jess but that you for thinking of me

author comment

weirdelf

Thu, 2011-10-06 16:06

weirdelf's picture
Volunteer badge

I will stow away on a ship to Canada, hunt you down and cut off your fingers and your tongue.

You are a major artist and you should have the humility to admit it.

I think of you a lot.

No worries about the workshops. When you do get some time online though Click on Workshop on the toolbar>Find a workshop> and check out anything that takes your interest, just to check it out. Non-participants are welcome to comment and contribute in my Shark Pool workshops. There are a lot of creative braincells banging together there.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

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