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Making a New Friend
She fell
through the spaces in time
she landed
in another world
adrift of reality
an army surplus coat
remnants of glory
adorn its lapels
from cigarette butt
to the next
she weaves unseen
under the crowd
rummaging bins
discovering uneaten burgers
cold French fries
I watched until …
we broke bread
under an iron steed
we drank from a tin
baked beans its last passenger
she still slips from dimensions
that hold her locked in delusions
three days a week
I call her friend
this is her story
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
her name is Elizabeth and one of the sweetest women I have ever had the privilege to meet
Editing stage:
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Author information
Region & Country
New South Wales, Australia
Favorite Poets
Once upon a time I would have had a plethora of poets here ... there are way to many brilliant poets to name them all ... If pushed for favourites ... Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page ...
Comments
Geezer
Thu, 2011-10-06 10:37
So real...
I almost cried. I have the privilage of knowing some amazing people, who are on the edge of dementia. They teeter there, held by I don't know what. They are street people too. That line; "I watched until..."
gave me the image of her eating whatever she found. I think that was your intent? Brave poem in a brave new style for you. Please stop in now and then, with works like this. Amazing images!
Love and higgest bugs, ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
loved
Thu, 2011-10-06 10:40
You are amazing
I am like remnants of times debris
that you return every now and then
gives us a breather
Seren is here for ever.
Only great people
are humble like you
and I,
that's why along the sea beaches
we roll and the surfs pass by ...
But then some one looks back
and says
Wasn't he
HE?
Yeah that's
All about life aint it.
loved
raj
Thu, 2011-10-06 14:35
she still slips from
she still slips from dimensions
that hold her locked in delusions
these two lines capture the essence of the poem...a lovely tribute to a friend...
raj (sublime_ocean)
Kailashana2
Thu, 2011-10-06 14:55
I am very very pleased to
I am very very pleased to read this, you've taken your poetry and your ability to befriend-- up several dimensions.
Good.
~A
magics02
Sat, 2011-10-08 10:12
Relate
I know some folks like this as well. Good thoughts here just this one thing Jayne did you mean broke bread here?
we broke bread
Nice one and hello to the familia how is everyone doing? Still waiting on me Jewels. lol
How is book doing also?
Mona Mia
Smiles from the miles eh?
judyanne
Sun, 2011-10-09 02:20
this is an awesome write jc
nothing to crit...
very descriptive - took me right there
one little suggestion
'she still slips from dimensions'
- perhaps 'she still slips between dimensions' ....?
love and hugs
judd
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)