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PLEASURE PEDIGREE

Submitted by Esker on Mon, 2011-10-03 10:56

coiled is the sight
alive with a growl
the water dances
where the draw
is shallow
and the curvature
of depth is might

Might promise
texture treatments
doorway meaning
tilt hip leaning

Leave colours
like mists
upon the naked
exposed skin
like ruby kisses
on collars
while the shower
hisses

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Esker

Mon, 2011-10-03 10:58

Esker's picture

perfume lux hesitations
warm expanse
caress dilation

how the fall
with its warm
cherish
brings out the best

author comment

weirdelf

Tue, 2011-10-04 03:13

weirdelf's picture
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I had better go back and read more carefully some of your recent posts.

You seem to be using a hint of structure, rhyme and partial rhyme forms to enhance what was your totally original and profoundly imagistic naive style.

Love this piece!

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

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