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Eternity apocalypse 3

Lonely planet, two inhabit the universe
Forging on the will to survive. 
Indication of life amongst the remains
He discovers a loved one's grave

Making camp near by he keeps watch
Days pass, desolation resides.
He passes on, she passes by,
He has gone.

Eternal strangers, loneliness eating them alive 
Each unaware of other.
Existing in parallel,
Live out there days alone,

Editing stage: 

Comments

Are you trying to make me cry? This is very sad and forlorn. I like it!

always, Cat

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Not trying to make you cry specifically, but in general job done.

Thank you

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

A www shucks lol

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

Making camp near by he keeps watch (nearby - one word)
Days pass, desolation resides. - awesome line lou...
Existing in parallel, - i really like this
Live out there days alone, (their)

a very powerful write lou -
love judy

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

Glad to see you. Thankyounforbreading and I'll make the corrections.

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

Somehow the grammar doesn't quite work, but I'm hooked on the tale and wish you would expand the pieces. A lot is here and I want much more. Get crackin' (if I may be so bold). wesley

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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I'll take a look at the last line, as far as expanding goes I think ill do that within a short story.

Thank you

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment
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